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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683734">Lars the Human</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberysoup/pseuds/strawberysoup'>strawberysoup</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon), Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventure, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:34:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberysoup/pseuds/strawberysoup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cutting your way through snowdrifts of Snowdin, soaking in the rain of Waterfall, melting in the heat of Hotland... Objective: survive and come back to your crew.<br/>You wish you could do more than that, but you can't. You're just a human, Lars.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Floating in space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I apologize in advance for my English. I'm writing this fanfiction in Russian, but i really wanted to try and translate it... Feel free to correct my grammar, I'll be very grateful!</p><p>I also draw sometimes. There's no cool illustration, just a few drawings with the main characters:<br/>https://strawberysoup.tumblr.com/tagged/LTH</p><p>Фанфик на русском:<br/>https://ficbook.net/readfic/10011535</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The stars were shining bright. Someone was looking at them steadily, expecting some kind of miracle. Holding his breath, waiting for the first falling star in his life to appear. So silly, as if it were possible. No matter how long someone waited, they won’t see a single falling star here. To make a wish they could just whisper it to a flower...</p><p> </p><p>But someone was still waiting.</p><p> </p><p> ***</p><p> </p><p>“You should've seen the look on her face when Captain popped up from her back! With her own gun!”</p><p>The Rutile twins burst into laughter. Fortunately, the spaceship was on autopilot right now. Otherwise, they would've surely crash into something in such a state - even if it were a single asteroid floating in open space.</p><p>“Heavens, I had no idea Beryl can be so expressive!” Rhodonite chuckles.</p><p>Everyone in the control room had a very heated discussion about their last adventure. Stealing a valuable cargo from Emerald’s spaceship was a bit like taking candy from a baby, so to speak! Indeed, things like that was no longer considered as something surprising for the Off colors. With their brave and mighty captain nothing seemed too difficult.</p><p>“You think… they already told Emerald… about the missing cargo?” Fluorite asked, slowly drawing out the words in her usual manner. Rhodonite waved her hands and replied:</p><p>“Pfft, no way! If she knew that already, there would be tons of incoming messages for her! They’re probably still trying to figure out how to soften the blow of bad news. Poor things.”</p><p>“Sometimes I even feel sorry for her,” one of the twins said almost sincerely. The other one continued: “Maybe it's time for us to find another victim, eh, Captain?”</p><p>The gems turned their heads to the captain’s chair, where Lars sat relaxed, leaning back on the chair. He was holding a map in his hands and some charts, but clearly wasn't interested in it - all this time he just mindlessly stared at it, smiling, listening to their little chit-chat. As their attention turned to him, Lars put papers aside.</p><p>“The Space Pirates do not choose victims, my friends.” He smirked mysteriously and shook his finger. “They choose a worthy reward! And only Fate decides who will stand in our way... ”</p><p>“Is it only Fate?” Rhodonite narrowed her eyes, clearly hinting at all those tons of plans to seize cargo that her captain had been building for weeks. Lars thought for a moment before adding:</p><p>“Okay, I admit. It's also a matter of luck.”</p><p>“Aaaand? ”</p><p>“And that's all, Rhodonite! Only Granny Fate and Lady Luck!”</p><p>Fusion turned her head, hiding sly smile behind her puffy hair. Lars leaned back in his chair, but didn't get a chance to relax. With her characteristic enthusiasm, Padparadscha popped out from behind his chair and asked:</p><p>“So, basically, we're robbing only the unlucky ones?”</p><p>“What? No... No, Paddy, that's not what i meant...”</p><p>“If so, looks like Emerald is the unluckiest person in the whole galaxy!” Rutile snorted with laughter and everyone joined in.</p><p>Lars wiped the tears from laughter with the back of his hand and glanced at the thick glass. He hasn't really counted the days, since he and the Off colors returned to their space adventures. However, he assumed that it's been months.  At first, he could not get rid of the stupid feeling that the decision to leave the Earth behind was still too spontaneous, but the longer he was in space, the paler the shadow of that experience became.  Life among the stars and planets has been full of so many events he may not have enough space in his captain journal!  Piracy, chasings, rescue operations, researches... His connection with the Off colors grew stronger every day. They all was like a real family. He missed his parents and friends from Earth, though… Ah, of course he did! Still, in the depths of endless space, Lars finally wasn’t lonely at all.</p><p>“Well, I hope you guys had a good rest, because it is time to get down to work,” the captain of the Sun Incinerator stood up, drawing his crew’s attention. “We need to deliver the goods to the Teta-4 before Emerald discovers it's missing.”</p><p>“Right... Emerald would never let it go that easy,” Fluorite nodded, returning to her station.The others followed her example. The control room immediately got very noisy. Lars couldn’t resist a proud smile, involuntarily drawing parallels with the day when they were just learning to handle the ship and trying on new roles. And just look at them now!  Brave, experienced, self-confident, they looked into the future without fear.</p><p>“Twins!  Set a course for-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>beep.  beep.  beep.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lars was taken aback for a moment, when a monotonous sound interrupted him. At first, he didn't even realize what it was, though he heard it quite often. There was a green light on the control panel, informing, that the spaceship receiving a distress call.</p><p>Rutile twins and Rhodonite shared a look in silence. The top of Fluorite’s head showed up from downstairs – her calm and quiet voice barely audible above the noise of the signal:</p><p>“What… happened…?”</p><p>“Captain, I had a vision! We will receive a distress signal from the nearest planet!” Padparadscha gasped and turned to the captain, hands clasped together. Although her bangs covered her eye as usual, it wasn’t hard to see she was troubled. The gem was always so exited about her late predictions, but this time even she wasn’t smiling.</p><p>“Okay… thanks, Paddy,” Lars frowned, but continued. “Put it on screen.”</p><p>“Yes, Captain.”</p><p>A schematic image of the planet displayed on the main screen along with the green light, weakly flashing on it — the presumed location of where the signal came from.</p><p>A distress calls from an unknown planet… Lars never refused to help strangers from the other planets. But right now, when they put themselves in a potential danger, the pirate would prefer not to stay in one place for too long. Furthermore, what if it’s a trap? Come to think of it, the Off colors have stolen a valuable cargo from a guarded ship just a few hours ago, but the cargo owner still did not react to this yet. And then there is a signal for help from the nearest planet. Doesn’t it sound too suspicious?</p><p>But still…</p><p>“Captain?”</p><p>Distracted from his thoughts, Lars  realized that all the members of his crew are looking at him, waiting.</p><p>“We will not respond to the call.”</p><p>“What? Why??” Rutile twins exclaimed in surprise.</p><p>“This looks very much like a trap. I won't risk the safety of everyone I care about.”</p><p>“But Captain...”</p><p>“We’re going to Teta-4. Period.” Lars flopped back into his chair. He tried his best to sound more confident. His crew should’ve know It is no use arguing with him! But he underestimated his team this time.</p><p>“Who would use the distress call for the sake of luring someone into the trap?!”</p><p>“Um, <strong>anyone</strong>, Rhodonite. It’s a foul play. A lot of people take advantage of it…”</p><p>The fusion crossed one pair of her arms over chest, and got the other one on her hips. Rhodonite rarely posed like this, but when she did, Lars knew that clearly — it will be very difficult to beat her in this argument…</p><p>“You all saw asteroids and space junk floating here, right? Someone could’ve just crash into it and were forced to make an emergency landing on this planet!”</p><p>“OR Beryl could have tracked us, hide on this planet and lure us with a false distress call.”</p><p>“Captain! There might be people or gems up there who need our help! We could be their only hope!”</p><p>“That’s just speculations,” Lars tried to protest, and yet, he began to wonder. Will he be able to sleep soundly, knowing that he refused to receive a distress call?  The area was quite deserted, that’s why Lars set a course here – they needed a place to lay low during the first hours. But… if Rhodonite was right, it meant that they could be the first living things who received this signal in years! If they ignore it, then…</p><p>He glanced around at his team again.  The Off colors looked back in silence, waiting for his decision.</p><p>“Twins.  Set a course for a new planet.” Captain Lars said with a sigh, trying to ignore the doubts that arose in his heart, as well as the encouraging voices of his friends.</p><p>Lars was hoping he made the right decision.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Strange device</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Sun Incinerator made a smooth landing on a deserted area in the middle of the forest. Lars deliberately chose a place at good distance away from the distress signal location. Even if at first sight the planet they landed on seemed to be uninhabited, Lars preferred to be careful. Better spend a little extra time walking than spend a lot of time fixing the ship. Just like last time... but that's another story.</p><p>As soon as a thud under the ship informed the crew that they had touched the ground, the Off Colors immediately began preparations. They were used to it already, so Lars didn't even have to hand out any instructions. Rutile twins and Rhodonite knew very well what weapons and equipment should be taken with them. There was, perhaps, only one thing that captain Lars never tired of repeating...</p><p>“Whatever happens, the main thing is, be careful, everyone. Fluorite, Padparadscha, you stay on the ship. Do not venture outside under any circumstances. We'll contact you before going back. Got it?”</p><p>“Yes, Captain…” Fluorite replied slowly. “You too… be careful… outside.”</p><p>“We will. I never take risks without a good reason, Fluorite, you know it…”</p><p>An ironic laugh interrupted Lars before he could finish his thought. Rhodonite wrapped the gun belt around her hips and slid the weapon into the holster, then shook her lush hair indignantly.</p><p>“Sais the guy who rushed to save his cloak from the planet during the volcanic eruption!”</p><p>Lars rolled his eyes to the ceiling.</p><p>“Oh come on, Rhodonite! Every time. I can't have this conversation again.”</p><p>“You are kidding? I found two gray hairs that day, Captain... And I can't even turn gray! Physically!”</p><p>Perhaps these two would have continued the argument further, but Padparadscha's delayed reaction stopped them.</p><p>“Ay ay, Captain! We won't open the doors until you contact us. Even to your clones!”</p><p>“Haha, that's right!” Lars chuckled, totally forgetting about being mad at Rhodonite. It seems that Paddy's sweet voice had some kind of calming effect on him.  “You better be on guard. You never know where you will run into shape-shifters again...”</p><p>Padparadscha nodded.</p><p>“We'll wait for you to come back!” </p><p>“It won’t take long. We'll be here before you know it,” Rhodonite gently patted her hair.</p><p>The pink sapphire giggled, “That’s impossible!”</p><p>After finishing the preparation, under the restless gaze of the friends who remained on guard, Lars, twins and Rhodonite got off the ship and disappeared in the dense forest.</p><p> </p><p>As they walked along the path through the forest, carefully inspecting the surrounding area and peering into every dark alley they passed, they reached the outskirts of some village. Once a vibrant village, seem to be, but now most of the buildings were destroyed and overgrown with ubiquitous vine. Places, surrounded by dilapidated fences, was drowning in thorny bush, which crushed the gardens and orchards that had been laid out by someone in the past. Lars caught the sound of rushing water from afar — a turbulent river, perhaps… Or a waterfall even. Anyway, the remains of some building blocked the road to it, so he could only guess.</p><p>The Off colors have more than once found themselves on abandoned planets. But it certainly wasn’t something you ever get used to.</p><p>“This planet doesn't look like there was a Diamonds' colony,” said Rhodonite, wringing her hands nervously. “But what could have happened here then?”</p><p>“Whatever happened, I doubt someone still live here. Right?”</p><p>All four exchanged worried looks with each other. </p><p>“Don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather prefer it to be so,” Lars frowned and looked up at Rhodonite. “Are we there yet?”</p><p>“Almost. The source of the distress call right over that hill.”</p><p>The Off colors continued their way to the hill, covered with abundant grass. They soon reached the big empty field, dotted with yellow flowers. No crashed spaceships, no camps — no sign of gems or people, who could transmit a distress signal. Lars looked thoroughly around the field, covering his eyes from the blinding setting sun. Nothing. Just flowers swaying in the breeze.</p><p>“Is this some kind of joke? Rhodonite, check the coordinates.”</p><p>“I already did it! According to my data, we’re in the right spot, Captain.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“The signal is clear, look for yourself!” Rhodonite shrugged her shoulders, as Captain Lars looked at her screen in frustration. He wasn't planning on staying here for too long. There was no time for them to conduct search operations…</p><p>“Hey, there's something lying here!” twins exclaimed from afar. Lars and Rhodonite ran over to them, both looked over their shoulders. There was a small rectangular device on the ground, surrounded by all those flowers. It looked like a simple pocket transmitter with an antenna, buttons, knobs and a small screen in the middle. When Lars saw it, it seemed to be off, but after just a moment, the screen lit up and they heard a barely audible beep.</p><p>“Looks like this thing was transmitting the signal... But where is the one who left it here?”</p><p>“Maybe there is no one here already? The transmitter could just fall out of someone's backpack,” Rutile suggested.</p><p>“And turn on by itself? It is hard to believe that someone could have left such a thing on an uninhabited planet by accident,” Rhodonite objected. </p><p>The twins got up from their knees and folded arms over their chest.</p><p>“So, what do you suggest? Setting up camp, starting to scope out the entire planet to look for any survivors? That would put us in danger too…”</p><p>“But we can't just fly away!  Maybe we should go back to the ship and scan the planet?”</p><p>“Our scanners are not powerful enough for that. But…” Rutile glanced away. “Maybe Fluorite can customize it...”</p><p>Lars carefully lifted the device off the ground. Several flower stalks, tightly wrapped around it, broke and remained partially on it. While his friends were discussing options for further action, Lars took a few steps away, holding the transmitter in his hands.</p><p>“How long has it been here, I wonder?..” Lars mumbled to himself, starting to clean the transmitter from dirt and ingrown flowers. “How does it even work in such a state?”</p><p>If only Lars knew that soon he would personally be able to check the device's workability, he would have given up what he did right now. He would just get it to the ship in this state - or maybe even left it where he found it.  But Lars could not predict the future. So he continued to carelessly pick between the buttons, trying to get the golden flower out of it. The finger slipped, pressing the button, which he was so eager to clean.  There was a click. A small screen on the transmitter lit up, and the Captain of The Sun Incinerator disappeared from the field as if he never weren't there.</p><p>The strange device, that remained hanging in the air, fell and broke in half.</p><p>“C- Captain?”</p><p>Rutile twins and Rhodonite glanced around anxiously. Though this was useless considering that they had witnessed all with their own eyes. But they refused to believe.</p><p>“What… what happened? Did you saw that? He was just here...” Rhodonite clutched her head, hiding her palms in puffy hair. The second pair of arms clasped in a strong lock, pressed against the chest. The fusion tried to calm her breathing, but she struggled to resist panic. “He was just here!”</p><p>The Rutile twins knelt down in front of the broken transmitter. But their fingers trembled too much to pick it up the from the ground.</p><p>“The device is broken ...” They said in a faltering voice.</p><p>“Oh no... no no no no! What are we going to do now? …”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Too cold for outdoor party</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A strange noise shattered the silence. After a moment, Lars appeared out of nowhere, entangled in his own black cloak, floated in midair for a good 10 seconds, then splat right into a snowdrift. </p><p>“Cold, cold, cold!” He cried and jumped to his feet, dusting himself off and rubbing his shoulders. A shiver of cold ran through him. His captain's suit wasn't designed to deal with such cold temperatures and his boots were filled with snow. Lars never seen so much snow in one place... He forced himself to look around: he was standing on a snowy field, surrounded by powerful tree trunks, and it felt like there wasn't a living soul to be found for miles around.</p><p>So, what on earth happened anyway? Lars remembered a strange device... He remembered how he pressed the button by accident, a flash of bluish light blinded him… and that was all. Now he was here. Alone and completely bewildered.</p><p>“Guess the device teleported me somewhere... M-maybe, north side of the planet?” Lars wrapped in his cape, shielding himself from the cold wind. “S-s-screw this, I'm outta here!”</p><p>Pirate took a deep breath and cried out, summoning the pink spiral portal. Lars discovered this ability not so long ago, but he has been practicing a lot since then. Proud of himself, pink-haired stepped inside the portal, already imagining himself buried in blankets and drinking a big cap of hot tea. The last thing he needed right now is to lay sick.</p><p>But when the portal opened and Lars jumped hastily out of it, he once again found himself knee-deep in a snowdrift. He was so surprised he even stopped shivering.</p><p>“Okaaay...  It’s nothing, just a... string of random accidents! I'll figure it out,” the guy muttered in an attempt to convince himself. No time for wallowing! He's Captain Lars, after all! The most formidable space pirate in the whole galaxy, invincible and fearless! Of course he will figure it out! He's been through a lot worse than this. Well, he wasn't alone back then.</p><p>Wasn't alone…</p><p>“Exactly! I have a radio! Stupid me, I can still contact my crew!” Lars slapped himself on the forehead. The radio was fixed to his belt. Lars took it and immediately began to adjust the correct frequency… but no matter how much he tried, the device was silent. He tried to change settings. Reset also didn't work. The captain's shoulders slumped as he realized the radio was broken.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll take care of it later...” Lars attached the radio back to his belt. He will probably figure out how to fix it, but for now... “First, I need to find my current location.”</p><p>He definitely had no other options. Lars hesitated a little bit, choosing which way to go. His instinct persistently pointed in one specific direction, so he began to move along the snowdrifts with wide awkward steps.</p><p>Lars used to trust his own sense of direction. It usually didn't fail him.</p><p>***</p><p>The forest seemed endlessly. Snow softly crunched under Lars’ feet, quickly covering his boots. The snow was coming down in big heavy flakes and it felt like Lars was just walking out into the woods on a calm winter day. It somehow comforted him. Lars was already accustomed to the fact that not all planets had that kind of nature like the one people usually portray in sci-fi films. Therefore, he was keeping himself from silly hopes that transmitter teleported him back to Earth. The second reason why he didn’t believe that were the shadows of bizarre shapes, hiding behind trees and in snowdrifts. As soon as these shadows started to grow deeper, Lars realized that he was being followed.</p><p>He could've sworn that someone was tracking him, but he pretended not to notice the rustle. Just from time to time he dared to glance deeper into the forest, but the sounds died away every time he did so.</p><p> “If someone was going to harm me, he would have done it already,” Lars thought, continuing to wade through the snowdrifts, ignoring all the oddities and sounds that deliberately becoming louder and closer. However, when Lars finally reached a wide path, everything went quiet, as if he just escaped from the zone, possessed by some dumb spirits.</p><p>"Is it sprinkled with salt or what?" Lars felt a chill down his spine. Trying to keep his mind off this thoughts, Lars looked at the road ahead and pondered.</p><p>On the one hand, he was happy he found a road - after all, that meant there could be residential houses ahead.  On the other hand, it made him extremely nervous for some reason. But before Lars could weigh the pros and cons, he heard voices. He instinctively ducked down and looked around, determining which side they were coming from. The sound was muffled, but luckily, Lars had excellent hearing, so he had no trouble with that. Following the sound of voices, he quietly made his way to the snow-covered bushes and hid behind them. Who could that be, anyway? Alien gems? Or maybe Emerald’s henchmen?  Nah, the plan was too complicated for them... Curiosity pushed Lars to face up the danger immediately, but he refrained from rash actions, carefully peeked out from the bushes instead.</p><p> </p><p>He saw a simple wooden structure, consisting of only a couple of walls, a table and a roof, which immediately caused Lars to associate it with an observation station. There was two strangers. One was sitting at the table: short, wearing a big blue hoodie, pale enough to blend in with the snow around him. He was chuckling and joking in response to his interlocutor's comments about him being all lazy and «not doing his own job». He was sitting with his back to Lars, so he could only see his wide back and his head, that was completely bald and smooth as a bone.</p><p>Horrified, Lars realized this <strong>was</strong> the bone. Or more precisely, a skull.</p><p>He reached his hand to the belt, searching for the weapon, but there wasn’t any. Lars panicked for a moment, but forced himself to calm down with sheer willpower. Then he tried to get a good look at the second stranger, but he was hidden behind a flimsy wooden roof of the station. Lars couldn't see anything but red boots with black fasteners, looked insanely bright against the white snow. Almost mesmerized by this blind spot, Lars sat still, holding his breath.</p><p>“…And don't forget to check the traps in the western part of the forest, you lazybones!" the owner of the red boots shouted at the end of the conversation, before running into the forest. Luckily for Lars, in the opposite direction.</p><p>However, when the meaning of his words reached him, Lars knew he was screwed.</p><p>“I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Better try to avoid meeting this-"</p><p>His internal monologue was interrupted by the crunch of snow behind. Lars looked back to the station and felt his heart sinks: there was nobody there. And at the same moment, a deep voice sounded right in his ear:</p><p>“Human. Don't you know that it's rude to eavesdrop?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Funniest joke ever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been a long time since Lars was scared so much. The last time it was right before he died and has been resurrected as a pink "zombie". He was lost, alone and unarmed and absolutely didn't know what to do. He just froze in horror, feeling a cold breath behind him.</p><p>“What's the matter? Don’t you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.”</p><p>Still standing on with his knees half bent, Lars slowly turned towards and looked up at the stranger. His face was hidden in the shade of a tree, which prevented it from detailed examination (Lars had no wish to stare at him anyway). He held out his hand and waited silently for the pink-haired guy to do the same. Was it a trick or a test? Lars decided to do as circumstances demanded it: reached out and shook the stranger's bony hand… and froze again, as his ears were filled with a fart sound of dubious quality.</p><p>“What?...” Lars blinked. Blinked again, just in case. The guy in the blue hoodie paused for effect, then began to chuckle softly.</p><p>“Heh heh, the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. As old as the world itself, but still makes an impression. Classic, huh?” He commented, coming out of the shadows and putting his hand on Lars’ shoulder. It made the guy flinch, lift his head and glare at the stranger with the wide eyes. It was really a skeleton standing before him. Or some creature close to skeletons. Frankly, Lars never seen a skeleton looked like that before…</p><p>“Whoa, easy, kid. Don’t be so nervous. You think I went overboard with suspense? Heh, well, sorry then.”</p><p>He was… annoyingly calm. Really? Lars couldn’t believe it. That skeleton scared the shit out of him, and he was only joking the whole time?! Boy, what a great comedian he is! NOT.</p><p>Lars grunted something inaudible and peeked at the strange face. As the skeleton spoke or chuckled, his mouth was stretched out in a wide grin, revealing a row of even teeth, and only vaguely resembled a bare jaw. The eyebrows, or rather the brow ridges, moved quite smoothly, which no human skull could boast, as far as Lars remembered… But most of all, he became intrigued by the skeleton’s eyes, that is, his eye sockets - deep and black, like endless space, in which white lights shone and trembled slightly.</p><p>“I'm Sans, by the way.” The skeleton introduced himself. Lars raised an eyebrow in surprise.</p><p>“Ah... Okay then. I'm Lars.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Lars, buddy. You know, I don't get to see a lot of new faces here, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to play a little joke on you.”</p><p>Lars was ready to put his ship on the line, that the skeleton winked at him. With his eye socket. </p><p>“No offense.” The skeleton added with a smile.</p><p>“Sure. You know, I'm something of a jokester myself...”</p><p>“I'll remember that. So what brought you here?”</p><p>“What brought? Well, um...”</p><p>Maybe (just maybe) Lars was happy to answer this question, but he didn't even know where to start. While his attention was darting from the smiling monster to the snow-covered trees, Sans got tired of waiting. He shrugged his shoulders and answered his own question indifferently:</p><p>“Eh, doesn’t matter. The important thing is that, since you're here anyway, you have to be careful. I heard some weirdos setting traps throughout the forest.”</p><p>“The ones you and the second guy talked about five minutes ago?” Lars asked, squinting suspiciously at him.</p><p>“The second guy?.. Ah, you must mean my little brother! You know…” Sans paused for a second. His white pupils looked away. “You should probably stay away from him.”</p><p> “Okaaay. And... why, I wonder?”</p><p>Suddenly, Lars heard a loud rustle from where Sans was staring so intensely. It made him turn his head towards the wooden station. He was ready to see someone bigger and scarier than the skeleton... But there was nobody at the station - just like everywhere at a distance of ten meters around. The forest was calm and peaceful. Only trees branches swayed slightly in the wind and little snowflakes danced in the air. Lars exhaled a cloud of steam and turned back, but froze with surprise: Sans was already gone.</p><p>Hallucination? No. No, that couldn't be it. Lars wasn’t desperate enough to hallucinate… It would take him at least a week to spend in this forest alone! Still. He wasn't sure...</p><p>“Stay away? Is this a threat or a warning?”</p><p>As if there was a difference. A shiver ran down his spine - from the cold, of course! What else it could be?</p><p>“I've seen more terrifying creatures in space. HA! Couple of skeletons won't intimidate me!”</p><p>Lars jumped to his feet, numb from the cold, and began to rub legs with his hands and jump up and down to take away the chill. It was sad to admit, but if he stays here, he won't do anything but completely freeze his ass. And even if he had no idea where he was going, he was sure of one thing: he had to keep going. There might be a town and some friendly locals ahead at least. Or more talkative skeletons with a sadistic sense of humor. In any case…</p><p>Lars got out of his hiding place, wrapped himself in a cloak and walked on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Through the forest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was one more thing that made Lars nervous, plus to him getting extremely cold. No matter how much time he spent in the snowy forest, there was still light outside. As if someone just turned the light bulbs on at full blast. Lars was trying to see the sky, but branches of conifer trees loomed over him like a coffin lid. Only a gray-blue dirty canvas was barely visible through them. The same picture from the very beginning... Maybe Lars was wrong about how long he has been here.</p><p>Anyway, the longer he walked, the colder the air became. And soon Lars began to regret that he hasn't asked that skeleton for a sweater…</p><p>“At least I could've asked if I’m going the right way,” Lars muttered to himself. He found a thick curved stick on the road and now he was walking, mindlessly hitting it against the bushes covered in white. It warmed him up a bit. </p><p>“Would be nice to meet him again and ask a few questions, actually...”</p><p>And just when he thought about it, Lars saw another wooden station ahead, right by the road. Shocked, he dropped the stick on the ground.</p><p>“Jeez, I need to be more careful what I wish for from now on,” he muttered in a strangled voice, looking around. There were few options, but he didn't want to jump into a snowdrift again. All he had to do was get around the station carefully, without attracting any attention... Luckily, Lars knew exactly how to do it.</p><p>He’s already done something like that before - on that fateful day, his very first trip to an alien planet. The day that changed his whole life. Remembering everything he learned from the Off Colors when they were escaping from Homeworld together, Lars slowly tiptoed over to the station, trying to get lost in the shadows, and hiding behind random sounds from the forest. He practically pressed himself into the wall, quietly crawled under it, without making a single sigh. Then he stood up, quickly glancing at the station and... let out a sigh of relief, noticed there was nobody there.</p><p>“Oh, thank God...” Feeling much calmer now, Lars came closer to check if someone had left a blanket there or at least a box of matches. But the only thing lying on the wooden tabletop was a small bell - like the service bell you can usually find on reception desk in the hotels.</p><p>“Seriously? A bell? Who do they think I am, an idiot?” Lars thought, almost offended. He turned around and walked on… but suddenly stopped, feeling movement behind - a light breeze blew back and forth, as if someone just sped by. And after that he heard a soft strum of a bell… and a husky voice called:</p><p>
  <em>“Who is there?!”</em>
</p><p>Lars held his breath, trying so hard not to scream. А loud fuss and growling behind him was replaced by deathly silence for a moment, but he dared not to move.</p><p>
  <em>“Is anybody there? Move so I can see you!”</em>
</p><p>Lars continued to stand still, like a statue, without breathing. He even stopped shaking from the cold. His leg, raised above the ground, became numb, but he remained standing in this unstable position even when his whole body was filled with a vague feeling... as if something was going through him.  Seconds of awful feeling that was difficult to comprehend, much less describe... But not even a single muscle moving on the pirate's face.</p><p>
  <em>“Again? Hmph! No respect for elders! I'm gonna need some dog treats for this...”</em>
</p><p>Lars did’t get the last phrase - it got muffled by the sounds of fussing and grumbling. Everything went quiet again. Taking advantage of this, with the speed of light Lars rushed away from the station.</p><p> </p><p>*** </p><p> </p><p>Lars could barely remember racing down the snowy path, gasping for air, slipping around corners and jumping over fallen trees. He stopped only when the station completely disappeared from sight. Breathing raggedly, he turned around, checking if there was any chase after him. Then he put his hands on his knees and exhaled loudly with a whistle. His ears were ringing, drowning out sounds of the forest. Lars suddenly inhaled sharply and started to laugh. Was it some kind of breakdown? Or does he really enjoyed this sudden shot of adrenalin? The pirate laughed until coughing interrupted him. He had not experienced anything like this in a long time! In space, he was always calm and fearless and almost forgot what it was like to be afraid for his life... To be confused and insecure about the future. To feel the phantom heartbeat. It was… almost nostalgic.</p><p>Since when did fear became a drug for him?</p><p>Once he calmed down, Lars stood up and thought for a moment. If he understood correctly, there were observers in the forest, and each of them owned a station. Lars did not meet a single living soul on the way, and that meant that the observers shouldn't have left their places... So, Lars just had to be careful enough when he comes across the stations and bypass it at a good distance. Well... At least it was only a temporary plan.</p><p>“Hope the worst is over. I've had enough for today...”</p><p>The pirate stepped boldly forward. As soon as his foot touched the ground, something wrapped around it and pulled forward. Lars slipped on the snow, trying to grab onto something, and hung in the air a few meters from the ground, face down in a solid ice net.</p><p>“What the fuuuuck!” Lars shouted, swinging in the air, and blushed with anger. How could he be so careless! How could he forget about stupid traps all over the forest?! “Why? What have I done to deserve this??”</p><p>“Brother? Is that you? Why do you keep activating my traps for fun?” Someone responded in annoyed tone. Lars twitched at first, but realized that he can’t get out of the net in time. The voice was already quite close, the snow crunched louder and louder under someone’s feet… A recently overheard conversation about traps flashed through Lars’ head. The ambiguous phrase that skeleton in a blue hoodie said just before disappeared mysteriously…</p><p>“Oh, wait a minute. You’re not Sans! Sans would never change his stupid hoodie for something equally stylish...” From the crunch of the snow, Lars realized that the invisible interlocutor walked quickly around the net. “You’re not the one of guards, either. You look funny. Who… Wait. Could it be…?”</p><p>The voice was shaking. Feeling a little more confident for some reason, Lars tried to turn around in the net to see who was it. But the figure below was already looming back and forth like a red flash, muttered something excitedly, not giving Lars a chance to concentrate his gaze on him.</p><p>“Hey... Hey, you, down there! Could you let me out of here, since you're there anyway? I'd be damn grateful.” Lars asked, trying to sound as decisive as possible. He wasn’t sure if it would work, tho… But he somehow managed to attract the attention of the red flash: he stopped abruptly, so that the snow creaked under his feet. And after a moment's pause, he asked timidly:</p><p>“Not that I have any doubts about this, but... You’re... you’re a human, right?”</p><p>“Umm... Kinda? Yes?” Lars was confused. It didn’t occur to him that he should keep it as a secret.</p><p>“YES! I knew it!” the interlocutor gasped with excitement. It seemed he even bounced a bit. “Of course you’re a human! Who else could have fallen into my ingenious trap!...”</p><p>“Ouch. No need to specify. Especially with such enthusiasm!” Lars mumbled. He already felt defeated and confused. And now this guy was making fun of him too? Although, he seemed genuinely happy for having caught "the human" - as if it was the first truly exciting thing over the years. Having concluded this, Lars suddenly felt sorry for him…</p><p>“...Human! Are you listening?”</p><p>“Wha- I’m sorry, what?”  Lars shuddered. Did he just got carried away by his thoughts and missed some speech? He made another attempt to turn around, but only wasted his breath. The net was surprisingly strong.</p><p>“I’m letting you continue on your way! Show me what you got... If you dare!”</p><p>There was a whistle, as if someone had thrown something sharp: and the net around Lars softened and fell down with him. The pirate struggled in the snow, freeing himself from the trap and running his gaze through the forest. But his strange interlocutor already disappeared. Throwing the remnants of the net aside and shaking off the snow, Lars wondered, if it was the one who he was thinking of.</p><p>“First that funny skeleton guy, then the hell knows who, and now this... fellow. If I see some more weirdos here, I will explode. Literally.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Сomic sans my favorite font</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there was so much untranslatable Russian wordplay in this chapter, i had to change almost half of the text.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finally, something new. The trees, tightly flanking the path, parted before him, and Lars found himself in a small snowy field. Tired of the same picture over several hours (well, Lars assumed he was here for several hours) and beginning to suspect that he was walking around in circles, the pirate looked at the field and felt he could breathe easier. It was completely empty: no bushes, no stones, no trees, only a lake in middle of the field, covered with a thick layer of ice. Lars breathed in the frosty air deeply, as if he was going to take it for the stock in case the road will lead him back to the forest. The very thought of this caused a fit of claustrophobia, and Lars shook his head, striding resolutely towards the lake. He needed some rest before continuing on his way.</p><p>But then, he noticed an eerily familiar figure in a blue hoodie in the center of the lake, which, thrusting his hands into the pockets, was tilting back on a little chair. In the snow, in front of him, was a fishing rod, constructed out of two sticks tied with a rope. Lars immediately felt an irresistible urge to turn back to where he came from, but Sans already noticed him and nodded his head affably.</p><p>“Sup, Lars. How is it going? Haven't seen you for ages.”</p><p>Lars stopped at the edge of the lake. The skeleton seemed to be in high spirits and did not show aggression towards him... But he still didn’t want to come closer.</p><p>“Oh, great, just great... Taking a walk, enjoying the weather,” he replied, putting his hands on his hips and nodding at the fishing rod, which seemed to be frozen in the snow already. “How are the fish biting?”</p><p>“No idea. It's not mine.” Sans swung heavily in his chair. It was almost unbearable to stand in silence under the watchful gaze of the skeleton, and Lars thought of a topic for conversation… but couldn’t come up with any ideas.</p><p>“I… I think I bumped into your brother recently…”</p><p>“The «second guy»?” Sans asked innocently.</p><p>“Yeah, that. And, well, I'm not sure, but… it seems that he’s hunting me down now.”</p><p>“That's tough luck.” What was that? A note of compassion in his voice? But surprise didn’t last long, since the continuation sounded not so sympathetic. “But look at it positively. At least now my bro will feel better. He wasn't in the mood lately, you know.”</p><p>“You don’t say.”</p><p>“Yup. Meeting you definitely made his day, I assure you,” the skeleton winked. Lars threw his hands up, rolling his eyes almost to the very back of his head.</p><p>“Thank God! I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to brighten up someone's day with my suffering! Do you, by any chance, have some more bored brothers or sisters? Maybe I can help then too?!” the pirate crossed his arms over his chest and stared gloomily to the side, adding sarcastically: “Always wanted to be a fox in a dog hunt…”</p><p>“Welp, you have already passed one dog successfully,” Sans shrugged. It seemed like he wasn’t impressed by Lars’ tirade at all. “By the way, I see it didn’t take you long to figure out how to avoid the blue attack. Good job. I'm almost proud of you, kid.”</p><p>“What did you...?”</p><p>Lars blinked. As he began to realize, he slowly narrowed his eyes, not taking them off the face of the skeleton, which no longer seemed so scary, as when he first saw him... In fact, now it was Lars who supposed to look like a revenge-hungry hero of the horror game of some sort.</p><p>“So it was you... You rang that goddamn bell?!”</p><p>In response, the skeleton shrugged again. He let out a low, nasty laugh, and Lars felt his entire face on fire. He felt it was vital for him to let this steam out.</p><p>“What the FUCK are you laughing at?! Are you sick in the head? My soul almost climbed out of my body!</p><p>“Wow, um... Better keep your soul with you, just in case.” Sans swung calmly in his chair. Lars barely resisted the urge to rush to him and kick the damn chair.</p><p>“With pleasure, maybe quit busting my chops then?!”</p><p>“Okay, okay, I got ya.” The skeleton raised his hands. “No more life-threatening pranks, I promise. But look at it from the other side...</p><p>“A positive one?” Lars frowned.</p><p>“Yup. You may not understand now, but this experience will help you in the future. In a fight with my bro, to be more precise.”</p><p>“How is that supposed to help me?”  the pirate raised an eyebrow. “And why do I have to fight someone anyway?”</p><p>He turned away just for a second, gazing across the field, hoping it would help to cool down the resentment burning in his chest. But it was enough for Sans to disappear again. As confirmation that he wasn’t a hallucination after all, there was only a folding chair standing on a lake, and a fishing rod stuck in the snow. Lars carefully stepped onto the ice, checking if it was strong enough to bear his weight. Then he walked to the center and peered into a hole carved into the ice. There was clear water underneath, and if Lars could still feel thirsty, he’d drink it right away, no doubt. But he decided to abstain. Instead, he walked over to a chair and kicked it so it flew to the opposite shore of the lake.</p><p> </p><p>However, less than five minutes after their last meeting, Lars bumped into Sans again. This time, he didn't even stop when he saw his blue hoodie in the middle of the winter landscape. Lars just rolled his eyes and exhaled, already mentally preparing himself for what awaited him…</p><p>There was… two skeletons, instead of one. They were arguing about something and didn’t even noticed the guy slowly approaching them. Good. Now he had enough time to examine in detail the mysterious «red flash» he saw before...  He was a head taller than Sans, and his facial features – or his bone features? – were sharper and thinner than his older brother has. He was not dressed for this weather – in some kind of a super-hero suit with a big red scarf instead of a cloak... But Lars assumed that, since he had no skin, the cold could not tell him how to dress.</p><p>The icy wind blowing in his face, and it even made Lars felt a pang of jealousy. He could use some cold resistance today.</p><p>When Lars got close enough, Sans and his brother were still talking. He had to cough loudly to get their attention.</p><p>“Oh, the Human arrived!” The tall skeleton exclaimed and turned to his brother again, pointing in Lars’ direction. “See, Sans, I told you that humans are very punctual!”</p><p>“You were right, bro,” Sans replied. “It seems like he have a BONE to pick with you…”</p><p>“Sans, please.” The high one interrupted. “There’s no time for puns!”</p><p>Lars felt his eye started to twitch. The skeleton in red scarf turned to him with a polite smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Human. To my deepest regret, my brother has a weakness for low quality jokes.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I’ve noticed,” Lars agreed, pretending he haven't heard the offended “hey!” thrown in his direction. “These are pretty bad.”</p><p>“You mean,” Sans smiled slyly, “bad to the BONE?”</p><p>“Ugh…”</p><p>“Enough, Sans!” His brother stamped his foot angrily. “You’re making a bad impression on the Human!”</p><p>“Oh, so you were going to impress him? Sorry, I misheard you. I thought you wanted to press him into the snow.”</p><p>Lars couldn’t resist a little smile. Noticing this, the second skeleton took a deep breath and squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, almost inaudibly muttering something, that Lars’ sensitive ear recognized as "why do I deserve this?"</p><p>Why indeed...</p><p>“Okay, you now what? I'll just pretend that this conversation never happened,” he said aloud, his shoulders straightened, and he took a heroic stance. This somehow reminded Lars of his own habit... “Human! I suggested you to continue your journey at your own risk… Deep down I hoped that you would heed the warning and turn back...”</p><p>It was a warning? This guy should've been be more specific, really…</p><p>“But now I see that you stop at nothing... Therefore, I have to stand in your way! Today, I will put an end to your crimes!”</p><p>“Wait, what crimes?” Lars stared at him blankly. But his participation in this monologue was clearly unnecessary, so the question was ignored.</p><p>“…For I, The Great Papyrus, the hero of Snowdin, am about to capture you! I will arrest you! I will put you in protective custody! Then, I'll get you to Captain Undyne!</p><p>“Don't forget to tie a bow,” Sans added.</p><p>“You will be delivered to the capital! And then! Then…” Papyrus hesitated, looked down at the snow. “I'm… not sure what’s next…”</p><p>“Good plan, bro,” the older brother raised his thumb up. Didn't seem like the tall skeleton needed his approval, tho. He still seemed a bit off, when he looked up again. However, all his thoughtfulness blew away with the wind when he noticed human’s look of confusion.</p><p>“Do you have a question, Human?” Papyrus asked sympathetically. The pirate scratched his neck, looking at him from under his brows.</p><p>“Maybe a little off topic...”</p><p>“It's okay, go ahead! I will be pleased to answer any questions you may have. After all, heroes must not only fight, but also to be helpful!”</p><p>How nice of him.</p><p>“Well. Okay, I was just thinking... Your names are, like, some kind of a joke too? Right?”</p><p>Papyrus opened his mouth, prepared to explain, but froze with his index finger raised up and an expression of bewilderment on his face. Then he and his brother looked at each other in total silence.  The pirate caught a heavy shadow of confusion even on Sans' unreadable face, and it impressed him so much, he even regretted asking this question. Therefore, before Papyrus could pull himself together, Lars said:</p><p>“Eh, forget it! Sorry, it was stupid question.”      </p><p>“Are you sure?..”</p><p>“Yes, I am sure! I just got the wrong idea… Never mind, really!”</p><p>Sans still looked confused, but didn’t insist. Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed happy to change the subject.</p><p>“So, as I was saying... Human! Get ready to experience terror and despair! Test your nerves, your knowledge and skills! Because I, the Great Papyrus, challenge you!”</p><p>Lars clenched his fists. So, fun’s over huh?</p><p>“You see, I have prepared for you the best and most dangerous puzzles. If you pass them then you’ll have the honor to fight the best (future) member of the Royal Guard! One on one!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Bonetrousle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lars was serious about it. Put the accent on «was». All those talks about man-hunting, threats to deliver him to the capital as some kind of criminal (which Lars was, actually, but certainly not here) seemed nothing but idle talk. The puzzles were not difficult (although very ingenious), and the traps weren't meant to hurt him. And the most surprising thing, no matter how many times Lars stumbles upon one or the other skeleton, they did not even try to injure him...</p><p>Sans still seemed like someone who could have killed Lars at will... But the irony was that he did not want to. The reasons? Ridiculously, it looked like he was just too lazy. Once Sans admitted that he loves "do absolutely nothing", which is why the pirate drew this conclusion. Far-fetched, perhaps… But it brought Lars some sort of comfort.</p><p>The second one, Papyrus, was… a little annoying, to be honest. He was loud and pretentious, and his speeches gave the impression that he had read too many comic books about superheroes. But it was amazing how much this guy tried to look important. This kind of behavior actually reminded Lars of someone he once knew… Someone with a human skin color, red disheveled hair, with a tunnels in his earlobes. Someone who had a bit of a mean personality, trying so much to be one of the «cool kids» and…</p><p>“Nah, it’s nothing like that. This is completely different! Everything is much more complicated here...” Lars frowned and shook his head, trying to make this thoughts to go away, while dialed various combinations on the ice plates on the wall. This puzzle was easy. An artificial looking stone, a simple password that was hidden in the bushes nearby: and a secret path opened before Lars, inviting him to a new zone.</p><p>He was a different person now. There was no need to remember something he wasn’t proud of...</p><p>“Wowie, you solved this puzzle without my help! I'm impressed, Human!” Papyrus was already waiting for him. His high-pitched voice washed away all the heavy thoughts from Lars’ head, and the pirate was quite grateful to him for that.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good, am I?” Lars shook his unruly pink hair from his eyes. “What now? Obstacle course? Mindfulness Puzzle? Bring it on, I'm ready for everything! But… no more invisible electricity maze, okay?..”</p><p>“There was just one! And by the way, I was the only one who was electrocuted,” Papyrus objected.</p><p>“Yes, of course, but I’ve got psychological trauma!”</p><p>The skeleton crossed his arms over his chest, giving Lars an appraising look. After a minute, he said:</p><p>“Okay. No more invisible electricity maze, I promise.”</p><p>“That's all I wanted to hear.” Lars wiped the sweat from his forehead. “So what’s now?”</p><p>But Papyrus wasn't in a big hurry to explain the new puzzles as he had been doing all this time. He only shook his head and stepped aside a little: only now, Lars noticed a long wooden bridge behind him, built across the abyss. He began to realize that Papyrus was waiting for him for a reason.</p><p>“You have successfully passed all my puzzles, Human. I really admire your sense of purpose!”</p><p>“Um... thanks?” Lars couldn't believe the secret door thing was the last puzzle. That was kind of... disappointing?</p><p>“Now, as I said earlier, I will fight with you! I believe it will be such an honor for you. And for me as well! So brace yourself, Human! For I, The Great Papyrus, am challenge you to a duel…”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“…on the field of hon…! Um... I'm sorry, what did you say?..”</p><p>Lars averted his eyes. It’s not like Papyrus seemed very fragile to him, but... fight him? No, thanks. To be honest, Lars was afraid to break his bones accidentally… When he looked at Papyrus again, the skeleton lowered his shoulders.</p><p>“Nothing personal, really. The puzzles were fun, but I think I'll refrain from fighting. Okay? Okay.”</p><p>“But you cannot refrain from fighting, it’s against the rules. We MUST fight!... Hey, where are you going?”</p><p>Papyrus stamped his foot angrily as Lars walked around him at a decent distance, trying not to look into his eyes... er, eye sockets.</p><p>“Nowhere. Just passing by.”</p><p>“What do you mean… Hey! You can’t ignore me when I challenge you to battle!”</p><p>“You sure? Because that is exactly what I am doing.”</p><p>“But, Human...”</p><p>“I'm off!”</p><p>Lars was determined not to turn around, even if the poor fellow will cry. Maybe he will even be offended, but it’s better for him than to pick his bones from the snow. Also, Lars still needed to find a way to get back to his crew…</p><p>But Lars had no idea he won’t get away so easily. He was almost a meter from the bridge, when suddenly a strange vibration swept across the ground - first from behind, then under his feet, almost knocking him down… and stopped right in front of the bridge, exploding underground and throwing snow in all directions. Lars barely had time to cover his eyes with his elbow. When he looked ahead, he did not see the bridge in front of him: there was a wall of snow-white bones instead. At the bottom, the bones were sharpened, sticking out from under ground like a palisade. The wall itself stretched in both directions to the very cliff, preventing the possibility of going around it. Lars turned to Papyrus with a dazed look on his face and found him down on one knee. His right hand was surrounded by a blue magical glow.</p><p>"Wow... He can do that?"</p><p>Somehow pulled himself together, Lars glanced around the bone wall once again and whistled.</p><p>“Impressive... But it just so happened that I'm pretty good at jumping...”</p><p>“A useful skill. That could be a problem,” Papyrus replied with a meaningful smile. The bluish glow in his hand became brighter. Lars got pretty nervous, not knowing what to expect… But he didn't have to wait long: obeying skeleton’s mysterious magic, Lars' body began to change its color from pink... to blue?</p><p>“What the... Oh, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” the pirate exclaimed, not so much with horror, but more with indignation in his voice. He's just got used to pink! Why all the metamorphoses that happen to him necessarily affect the color of his body?!</p><p>But his sufferings didn’t end there: as soon as the blue completely absorbed him from the tips of his fingers to the last hair on his head, Lars' eyes darkened. Inhuman strength began to pull him down, as if a sack of stones had been tied around his neck… And then, Lars fell into the snow, like a stone himself. Something squeezed his chest, but not so much that he could choke or start to worry that his insides would crawl out of his eyes. Behind the buzzing noise in his ears, he could barely hear the solemn voice of Papyrus, telling him:</p><p>“You're blue now!”</p><p>“Yeah, I fucking noticed!”</p><p>“Oh. Well, first of all, watch your language, Human, swearing does not suit you,” Lars couldn’t see his face, but guessed from his intonation that Papyrus was frowning. “And secondly, you asked for it! I did this so you don't flee from the battlefield.”</p><p>Lars pushed off the ground with his trembling hands and began to get up. Papyrus stood at a distance. Lars' vision was out of focus, which made him see the skeleton glowing with a ghostly blue light.</p><p>“Now you have only two choices: fight me or surrender. I allow you to choose, Human.”</p><p>The pirate's lips curved into a mischievous grin.</p><p>“Well then, I guess I have no choice... Let's dance!”</p><p>“It is admirable that you’re interested in dancing, but actually I did not say anything about it. The choice was either to fight or to surrender,” the skeleton put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, giving Lars a reproachful look. “I said that a minute and a half ago, Human! Are you even listening?”</p><p>“I, uh... What? I’m listening… Wait, no, I meant let's fight!”</p><p>“Well, then you should have said so. Why are you confusing me?”</p><p>“I was not, I just... This is just a figure of speech... I mean… Oh, come on now, dude! Let's get started already!”</p><p>“As you wish, Human. But we will work on your speech later.”</p><p> </p><p>The next thing Lars saw was Papyrus got down on his knee, plunging his palms into the snow. The pirate felt the same vibration as before – it was moving at a breakneck speed underground, resonating from the stones and trees that surrounded them. Lars felt that even his pupils were moving too slow, but his hearing, fortunately, worked as it should: managed to determine the trajectory of the attack, Lars collected all the willpower in his legs and jumped to the right, exactly at the moment when the bones began to grow out the ground. They formed a circle, but closed on the wall that was blocking the way. Bones crashed against it with a loud crunch.</p><p>The landing wasn’t soft tho. Lars couldn’t hold the weight of his own body, which now seemed so alien, went head over heels and crashed into a snowdrift, lifting millions of snowflakes into the air.</p><p>“Stay focused, Human! What kind of fair fight it will be, if you wasting time lying in the snow? Should I declare every attack so you can react to it in time?”</p><p> “Yes, if you please,” Lars muttered, spitting off the snow.</p><p>Papyrus sighed.</p><p>“Okay… Here comes the second attack...”</p><p>The pirate jumped to his feet. He only had time to see the skeleton waving his hand, and a row of tall translucent blue bones surrounded him, starting to close around him slowly. For a split second, Lars panicked, realizing that in no circumstances would he escape this... but then a voice sounded in his head:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>«...I see it didn’t take you long to figure out how to avoid the blue attack... it will help you in the future»</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Blue attack... The pirate's eyes lit up. The guard at the second station used the same trick! Oh God, did Sans really helped him in some way?</p><p>Lars held his breath. He had to make even more efforts not to move than to jump under the effect of this strange magic... But he coped: blue bones passed through him and immediately disappeared without harming him. Lars couldn’t even find the strength to be overjoyed with it - he just went limp and sat on the ground, breathing heavily.</p><p>“I see you actually understood how the blue attack works!” Papyrus said with a proud smile. “However, you can't get away so easily from the next one!”</p><p>White bones, translucent blue, tall, small bones – all rose from the ground one by one. Some appeared right in the air, rushing towards Lars at different speeds, ringing like arrows. He dodged them successfully, until there were too many. If only he had a weapon…</p><p>“Wait, what if I just...”</p><p>The pirate waited until the tall white bones rushed past him, and at the most opportune moment grabbed one with his hand and pulled as hard as he could... Luckily, the ingenious plan had worked, and now Lars had a weapon in his hands! The bone easily shattered attacks that were the most difficult to dodge. Now they weren’t a threat to him. This time, Lars proudly accepted yet another praise addressed to him by Papyrus – he himself was filled with pride as he successfully jumped over obstacles and got out of bone traps with his dexterity skills and new weapon.</p><p>“It’s over, Papyrus, give up! You can’t beat me!” the pirate exclaimed confidently, chopping off another line of attacks with the bone.</p><p>But the skeleton wasn’t going to give up.</p><p>He leaped in the air and landed on one of the summoned bones, maintaining perfect balance. A white bone sword appeared in his hand, when he dashed to the enemy, fast like lightning. Lars hardly managed to block his attack, but with every subsequent move his strength was leaving him… It soon became clear to Lars that victory had eluded him: another hit, and Papyrus knocked the bone out of his hands. The pirate stepped back, trying to dodge the sword, but tripped over a tiny bone on the ground and immediately fell into the snow.</p><p>“Gotcha!”</p><p>A row of bones lined up around Lars, gathering in a kind of cage. However, the bitterness of defeat was short-lived. As soon as the bone lid closed over him, Lars’ skin returned to its usual pink color, and the pirate let out a sigh of relief, feeling his body became light again. All the bones, except of the cage, melted away, leaving no hint of what battle took place here.</p><p>When Lars looked up, he saw Papyrus towered triumphantly over him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A town called Christmas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Human! I am very impressed... No one ever... fought me so fiercely!”</p><p>Papyrus panted, breathing out blue-grey clouds of steam. He looked tired but continued to stand proudly, keeping his back straight and his shoulders straightened, as if the enemy's impression of him depended directly on the perfection of his posture.</p><p>“You fought with honor… But alas, even your abilities were not enough to defeat the Great Papyrus! Therefore, now, as I informed you earlier, I will have to...”</p><p>“Dude. That was. SO COOL!”</p><p>Papyrus dropped his gaze, only to meet Human’s eyes, full of genuine admiration. He was breathing hard, very excited, and a wide smile was shining on his face - not exactly how Papyrus expected to see defeated enemy. The skeleton blinked in confusion and narrowed his eyes, as if he wasn't sure he heard him correctly.</p><p>“Cool? Do you… really think so?”</p><p>“And what do you mean by that?!” Lars almost shouted, throwing his hands in the air. “Of course I think so, I'm telling you! It was amazing! Freaking incredible! Where did you learn all this? I've never seen anything like it ever in my life! Those were real bones? No, some sort of magic, right?”</p><p>Papyrus froze, stunned by his reaction. He even forgot to hold the pose: his shoulders dropped and leaned forward, visually making the skeleton much smaller than he seemed while maintaining his proud posture. Noticing this, Lars forced himself to slow down.</p><p>“Look, man, I mean it... That was really cool. And I was going to skip all this, can you believe it?” He snickered. Looking at him, Papyrus raised the corners of his mouth in a timid smile, but the expression in his eyes still betrayed a jumble of feelings. Yet he managed to control himself, straightened his back again and closed his eyes, giving himself a self-confident look.</p><p>“W-well, of course! Don't you think I'm surprised by this, Human! Truly, your admiration is not unfounded. Because I... C-captain of the Royal Guard herself is training me, so...”</p><p>“You mean, the one you have to take me to?”</p><p>“Yes! It is her! Captain Undyne!” The skeleton smiled radiantly. It seems that he got his confidence back. Good! Lars already started to worry about him... “Now that I beat you in a fair fight, I must keep you in custody until Undyne arrives. And then she... she will decide what to do with you...”</p><p>“I see…” Lars said dryly, head down and frowned thoughtfully. Obviously, this did not escape Papyrus’ attention, so he slightly bent down to get a better look at the pirate’s tense face.</p><p>“Is everything all right, Human?”</p><p>“Yeah, why not,” he replied, nodding. Not to Papyrus, but rather in response to his own thoughts. “Okay. I'll go with you willingly.”</p><p>“Oh! Are you sure? I mean, you have no other choice, but...”</p><p>“No choice, yeah, that's for sure!” Lars agreed. “But, first of all, you must know how to lose with dignity. And secondly, even if there was a choice, I still don't even know where I supposed to go. So yes, I'm sure. Take me to your captain!”</p><p> “Okay, in that case...”</p><p>Papyrus snapped his fingers and the bone cell disappeared in an instant. Now when it didn’t hold Lars back, he jumped to his feet with feline grace – what a pleasure to feel lightness in body again!</p><p>“First, I will take you to my fortress,” Papyrus pointed towards the bridge. “Please follow me.”</p><p>“Okey dokey.”</p><p>How he planned to get Lars across this bridge, if he wouldn’t agree to go willingly? The pirate could not even imagine. Would he drag him, trapped in a bone cage, on his own shoulders? Well actually, Papyrus could do that for sure - he somehow managed to defeat Lars, after all. Captain Lars, who was trained in battles with powerful general gems! Though the skeleton doesn't look very strong. That was kinda impressing! </p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>The bridge seemed endless, but it took just about fifteen minutes to go across it. Or even five minutes… Doesn’t matter, the point is that it was much less time than Lars expected. He must have lost track of time when he was at a decent distance from the beginning of the bridge. No, he wasn’t struggling with the fear of falling down, experienced an hour of torment as one instant: the bridge was surprisingly sturdy and seemed capable of supporting the weight of ten Solar Incinerators, so Lars didn't care a bit about it. It was because of Papyrus, who pulled him into conversation so easily. Before Lars became his prisoner, the skeleton was using mostly prepared speeches and explanations of the principles of how certain puzzles worked – which, to put it mildly, did not make Lars want to stay and chat with him longer. But now, when Papyrus was no longer trying to impress him (or what was his goal there?), he turned out to be quite exciting person to talk to.</p><p>“How did you manage to choose the right direction?” Papyrus turned his whole body to Lars, continuing to walk across the bridge backwards. “No, wait, let me guess! It was the smell!”</p><p>“And what was I supposed to smell, may I ask?”</p><p>“The Cinnamon Bunnies, of course! It's sweet treats. The shopkeeper cooks them for sale every day. It have a very strong and specific scent, so you can smell them even from the Ruins behind the forest.”</p><p>The pirate shrugged, but sniffed just in case. No, he definitely couldn't smell the cinnamon even from here. Maybe this trick was only available to locals?</p><p>“Nah, the smell has nothing to do with it... I guess I just have a good internal compass.”</p><p>“Why you swallowed the compass?”</p><p>“Wha- I did not?!” Lars laughed. “This is the figure of speech! Have you never heard of it?”</p><p>Papyrus pouted – how was that even possible if he had neither cheeks nor lips?</p><p>“If "figure of speech" means that you do not mean what you say, then I do not want to know anything about it. I swore to always be honest and only say what I really think!”</p><p>“Well, that's a good thing actually...” Lars mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. In the meantime, the skeleton turned away and joyfully announced that they had finally arrived. The pirate looked up to see a large bright sign ahead saying «Welcome to Snowdin».</p><p> </p><p>The town was quite small, but incredibly cozy. It somehow reminded Lars of old villages in the north – he saw the pictures in travel magazines. He had never been to the north, but imagined such settlements as abodes of loneliness and permafrost... And God, how wrong he was.</p><p>The buildings were painted in pleasant warm colors, which contrasted strongly with the harsh winter landscape around. Soft orange light poured from each window onto the snow-strewn road. The candles lit on the windowsills, trembled. And the garlands, stretched over the doorways, flickered, which gave the city a truly fabulous look. Two houses at the beginning of the road were decorated with carved window frames and weather vanes – Papyrus said it was the shop (where they were selling cinnamon bunnies, by the way) and the hotel.  Other houses were decorated much more modestly and more strictly.</p><p>In the center of Snowdin, right in the middle of the road, stood a big bushy tree, hung with various toys.  Is it Christmas already? Lars messed up the dates in his captain's journal long ago, so he might well haven’t noticed how December came. Or did time go differently in this part of the universe? Well, it didn't matter. He and the Offcolors didn’t celebrate holidays anyway...</p><p>He was walking behind Papyrus, listened half-heartedly to his explanations about how everything works in the city, casting glances at the nice wooden buildings, lining the road along the way. And, of course, looking at the inhabitants of Snowdin. They met a rabbit Near the Christmas tree – she smiled warmly and greeted both of them, then walked on, leaving the smell of cinnamon behind. Two little dragon kids in striped sweaters ran past them with a cheerful giggle. A horse head guy, dressed in a leather jacket, smoked a cigarette near the place with a signboard «Grillby’s» (the only brick building in the whole city).  Bears, wolves, rabbits – all kinds of animals, like ordinary people wandered along the streets, entered houses, chatted amiably with neighbors. However, Lars noticed that none of these strange creatures paid the slightest attention to him.</p><p>“This is for the best. I don’t have time to attract unnecessary attention,” he thought with some degree of relief, stopped to twist his head around like a child who visited Disneyland for the first time. He quickened his pace to keep up with his guide.</p><p>After passing a large two-storey house, which roof was decorated with a bright colorful garland, Papyrus stopped. Lars followed suit.</p><p>“This is a temporary prison where I was going to put human when I catch them,” the skeleton explained, without waiting for a question. Lars meticulously examined the small building that looked like a barn or a garage.</p><p>“You mean, I have to sit here until Undyne arrives?” to be honest, the pirate wasn’t happy with it. But then again, did he have a choice? Oddly enough, Papyrus, who himself suggested the idea, didn’t seem pleased either.</p><p>“I think... Maybe this isn't really the place. It will definitely hold you, but there… there is…” He hesitated for a moment before continuing with a joyful snap of his fingers. “There's no cameras in here!”</p><p>Lars could have sworn he'd just made it up. However, Papyrus did not care at all whether he knew it or not. He straightened his back, delighted with his own resourcefulness, and nodded gravely:</p><p>“Mhm, yes exactly! I’m a very responsible skeleton, I can’t just throw you into a prison I can’t watch you from!”</p><p>“Not that I was going to run away...” Lars muttered, glanced over his shoulder.</p><p>“It's settled then! Human, you’re coming with me!”</p><p>With these words, Papyrus grabbed Lars by the wrist and dragged him unceremoniously into the house.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The smell of tomato sauce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Entering the house, they found themselves in a spacious living room. The dark shade of the walls and low lighting created a pleasant evening atmosphere here. The place were so tidy that Lars, accustomed to messy rooms, even felt a little uncomfortable. Not a single piece of dust on the floor! The books in the cupboards arranged in height and color, blankets neatly folded into a basket, standing by the couch. Air filled with the smell of stewed tomatoes and some kind of spices. And most importantly, it was warm here. During his stay in the forest, Lars had already forgotten what it was like to feel warm and cozy. His arms and legs were even in pain, as happens when you press your frostbitten fingers to a hot radiator.</p><p>“Come on in, Human, make yourself at home!” Papyrus invited. </p><p>“Oh yeah. Thank you…” Lars brushed the snow off his boots before entering the room. He absolutely didn’t want to bring dirt into such a clean and beautiful house.</p><p>“There, that's much better, isn't it? You will be safe here, and most importantly, you can’t escape! Even if I get distracted by something, which, of course, won’t happen... Still! You see, my brother and I have an unique tracking system in our house!” Papyrus said proudly. Lars turned his head around, trying to find any cameras in the corners of the ceiling. But soon he realized that he was looking in the wrong projection. He heard a sudden barking from below and something white and fluffy began to spin under his feet, and then, jumped onto his chest. Being completely unprepared for this, the pirate couldn’t keep his balance and immediately fell to the floor, barely managing to keep his head from the collision.  However, judging by skeleton's reaction, everything was under control.</p><p>“Oh, here it is!”</p><p>“A dog?” Lars asked, trying to prevent a furry monster from licking his face.</p><p>“My unique tracking system!”</p><p>Lars didn’t often deal with dogs, so he just lay motionless on his back with his arms outstretched, not knowing what to do next. Papyrus chuckled and finally deigned to help him: carefully picked the animal by the scruff of the neck, he took him away from the pirate.</p><p>“Listen carefully, dog. I have a very important task for you.” skeleton raised his index finger so that the «unique tracking system» would totally understand that the task was indeed very important. “From now on, never take your eyes off the Human. Nod if you get it.”</p><p>The dog nodded, waving his fluffy tail. Lars shook his head in surprise.</p><p>“What a clever dog...”</p><p>“Oh yes. He is indeed very smart! Especially when he needs something from you, he is the smartest creature in the world!” Papyrus smiled, letting go of the dog, that immediately began to pull Lars by the cloak, helping him to get up from the floor. “By the way, are you hungry? After all, you've been strolling through the forest all day.”</p><p>Lars was about to politely refuse, but at the last moment he changed his mind and listened to his feelings. He wasn't hungry... But he was definitely terribly cold, and food could help to warm up. Moreover, the smell of tomatoes and spices, coming from the kitchen, was really nice…</p><p>“Yeah… I guess so.”</p><p>“Good! Then I invite you to join me and my brother for dinner! I was just about to start cooking after patrolling the forest. Actually, I should have come back much earlier, so I already put tomatoes in the stew. But then you showed up and...”</p><p>Lars beamed, thrilled to hear that.</p><p>“Oh, do you like cooking?”</p><p>“I recently discovered my interest in cooking, yes. It's very good way of spending your time, isn't it?”</p><p>“It sure is!” he nodded, following Papyrus into a rather cramped kitchen compared to the living room. “So, what's for dinner?”</p><p>“I'm making my specialty, pasta with tomato and meat sauce!”</p><p>“Ah, bolognese. Cool! Do you need a hand?”</p><p>The skeleton shook his head, putting a white apron on, right over his suit, and immediately walked to the stove. There was a frying pan, steam was coming out from it.</p><p>“No, no! You are a guest in my house... that is, I mean, a prisoner in my fortress. And the prisoners shouldn’t do other’s household chores!”</p><p>“Oh... Well, okay, if you say so...”</p><p>Lars was a little upset, but decided that it would be rude to argue with the owner of the "fortress" in his kitchen. Therefore, he walked in and sat down at the table.</p><p>“So you are also interested in cooking?” Papyrus asked with a smile in his voice. Longing that came out of nowhere was instantly dispelled after these words. The pirate straightened up and replied:</p><p>“I would say I do it professionally. You see, where I come from, I had my own bakery shop...”</p><p>“Really? Wowie!” Papyrus put a pot of water on the fire and turned to Lars, glancing at him with a sparkle in his eyes. “You bake? Like, pies, cookies and stuff?”</p><p>“Yeah, and even more of this. I got the passion for cooking started with baking. Before I started to make other dishes, I hone this skill to the maximum. Ah, no, what am I saying... You will never reach the maximum in it, actually. Cooking is a skill that you improving throughout your entire life.”</p><p>Lars leaned with his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands. The smell of cooking food, a pleasant conversation, warmth – all this things began to have a calming effect on him. For a while, he even forgot that he wasn’t on Earth... Even though there was a skeleton in a red scarf and white apron over a super-hero costume, standing in front of him, listening him with curiosity.</p><p>“This is so deep. And to run your own bakery shop... I bet your friends really admire you!”</p><p>“Well, business in the shop went uphill from the very opening day. So I guess everyone in town likes it.” Lars scratched his cheek shyly. “To be honest, I used to be embarrassed to tell the others I enjoy baking...”</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Papyrus exclaimed. “But you should be so proud of yourself! This is such a wonderful skill!”</p><p>“Heh.” Lars smiled at the skeleton. It was very nice of him to say. “Thank you Pap...”</p><p>“You shouldn't thank me, Human, it's true! You deserve the praise! I can't imagine how much time and effort you need to invest in learning how to bake the simplest pie. If I could ever do this, I would be so happy to tell everyone about it! And, of course, I would gladly make it for all my friends!”</p><p>Papyrus folded his hands into a lock, just like Padparadscha always did in moments of her belated predictions. And the same enthusiastic expression flashed across his face... Lars pursed his lips and unconsciously began tapping his fingers on the table. Thoughts about the Offcolors, left on an unfamiliar planet, never leave him even for a second. Especially now, when he himself was safe and warm. A moment later he was filled with foreboding, but forced himself to brush it off. His crew are not children fighting over toys, they are professionals in their field! Even without their captain, they can make the right decisions! He shouldn't have doubted them... Ever.</p><p>“Um, Papyrus? The water is boiling away...”</p><p>Skeleton gasped and immediately turned to the stove. Lars leaned slightly to the side to make it easier to watch him.</p><p>Come to think about it, what can he do now? Cold and bone tired, he didn’t even know where he is exactly and how to get out of here... Even if Lars will rush around the city nonstop, pestering everyone with questions, asking to bring him back to his crew, he would accomplish nothing. Nothing good, for sure. It could also attract the attention of someone much less friendly than Papyrus. He mustn't hurry. There were time for everything - and now it was the time to rest and gain strength.</p><p>So, putting his thoughts in order and watching Papyrus, who was busy cooking, Lars once again felt sleepy. However, a light breeze from somewhere on the right-hand side made him shiver. He turned around... and almost jumped up from his chair, meeting his gaze with Sans.</p><p>“Sup, Lars,” he said, as if nothing had happened. The pirate prevented himself from falling to the floor only by grabbing the edge of the table with his fingers. Papyrus, on the other hand, wasn’t impressed by his brother's sudden appearance at all.</p><p>“Sans! You are just in time for dinner. I am very proud of you!”</p><p>“Heh. Couldn’t miss dinner with such a <strong>fun</strong>tastic company,” short skeleton replied, slyly glancing at the pirate, patting the dog, who crawled out from under the table. Lars took a deep breath. It looks like he should have started getting used to these tricks. Otherwise he risked to get a heart attack one of these days...</p><p> </p><p>In an hour, dinner was ready. The pasta with tomato and meat sauce looked just fine, as if it came out of a picture from some culinary magazine! Of course, Lars had already realized that it was a crime to underestimate Papyrus... But he still did not expect the skeleton to be as skilled in cooking as in battle.</p><p>“This is a new dish for me, to be honest,” Papyrus admitted, which only increased the level of admiration. “I only tried to cook it a few times so... I'd like to know your opinion, Human!”</p><p>“Well, in that case...”</p><p>The pirate picked up the spaghetti and sauce on a fork. The smell of fried and stewed meat, the aroma of tomatoes and spices was really good. He put the fork in his mouth, and it didn't take him even a second to realize that the taste was... just awful.</p><p>Tasteless rubber paste. And what with this sauce? Is it even edible? Lars glanced at the skeleton, who was standing a few steps away from him, nervously wringing his hands and looking at him with hope hidden in his eyes... and realized that he simply could not bring himself to tell that food was inedible. Even if it kills him.</p><p>“Okay, well… I can assure you that…” he paused for a short while, forcing himself to swallow this… this thing. “The taste is just, um... indescribable.”</p><p>“You mean it?” Papyrus beamed. Lars nodded, putting a smile on his face.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! In that case, I'll pack a food for you!” skeleton turned to the kitchen cabinet and started searching for something, while Lars watched him with empty eyes and thanked all the gods, demons and Steven that he doesn’t have to eat at all. Meanwhile, Papyrus let out a displeased sigh and asked his brother:</p><p>“Sans, where are all the containers I bought?”</p><p>“In the living room.”</p><p>“Why the containers are in the living room, Sans?”</p><p>“Chillin'.”</p><p>Papyrus rolled his eyes and left the kitchen, apparently deciding not to waste time on meaningless conversation with his brother. After he left, Sans suddenly nudged Lars's arm with his elbow.</p><p>“Hey, pal. This will probably surprise you, but… you’re actually the first who complimented my brother’s cooking.”</p><p>“Whaaaat, no way, are you’re kidding...”</p><p>“That’s very nice of you,” skeleton added. Lars wasn't sure, but he seemed to catch the sincerity in his voice. “You see, Pap is still very insecure about his cooking skills. But he tries very hard. So thanks for trying to make him believe in himself. I owe you.”</p><p>Lars thought for a moment, looking at the plate. The dish literally begged to be thrown into the nearest trash can. How can it be so beautiful and taste so bad at the same time? It's a damn shame...</p><p>And yet the pirate took a deep breath and wrapped more spaghetti around the fork.</p><p>“Well… Those fucking alien rocks couldn't take me. This can’t be worse.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Pocket space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the evening Lars was enjoying warmth. His captain suit were soaked to the skin and in some places was even covered with a thin ice crust - seeing this, Papyrus insisted Lars immediately change into what he and his brother found for him. Fortunately, Sans had a whole heap of oversized hoodies, and Lars and Papyrus were practically the same size (add or subtract the presence of muscle and skin on the bones), so there was no problem with that. Although the clothes were old and worn, for some reason it fit Lars perfectly, as happens with clothes that you wear for many years in a row. Soft gray jeans, a t-shirt with a washed-out print and a warm hoodie in a dark brown color seemed to be the most comfortable clothes he had ever wore! Much more comfortable than his captain suit, which was drying out somewhere. Papyrus, however, even in spite of the unpresentable appearance, liked this suit at first sight.</p><p>“When I first saw you, I immediately thought you are not an ordinary human! If not an evil genius, then probably an adventurer. Such stylish clothes speaks for itself! And it is not suitable for daily wear, so…” Papyrus gave a short glance at the pirate. “Am I right?”</p><p>“Well, actually…” Lars responded in a proud tone. “I'm the captain of the spaceship, if you're interested.”</p><p>“A REAL spaceship?!”</p><p>Lars caught a stir on the other side of the couch, where Sans was lying upside down. It looked like he managed to get even his attention.</p><p>“Real, of course!” he laughed, petting the dog, who was lying on his lap. Papyrus stared at him in childish admiration.</p><p>“And you have your own crew, right? Like in that book you read to me, Sans, remember?”</p><p>The small skeleton nodded silently. He was still lying in the same position, but his face was turned towards them.</p><p>“Yup, I have a crew. They’re all so cool... I actually became what I am now thanks to them. Became the captain… But it's a long story.”</p><p>“Oh, tell us that story!” Papyrus asked in an imploring tone, moving closer to him with every word. “Please, please, please!”</p><p>“Okay, okay, no need to beg!” Lars laughed again. “Okay, where to start...”</p><p> </p><p>Sitting on an uncomfortable couch under the dim light of a lamp, wrapping himself in a blanket and interrupting only to answer Papyrus's numerous questions, Lars told them everything. About gems. About Steven. He even mentioned the roll that he threw in the trash – it had an important role in this whole story after all. And then, he finally got down to the story of how he ended up in Homeworld and how he met his future incredible and coolest crew ever - the Offcolors. How they made a daring escape together and stole Emerald’s ship, and how they became space pirates... Throughout the story, Papyrus looked so inspired, as if he had just decided for himself that he would also definitely fly into a space. Sans finally sat down, paying great attention to Lars' story, without even interrupting him with some stupid puns. Even though there were a lot of moments for this...</p><p>Lars also told them about the recent events. The distress signal he received, the device that transported him into the Snowdin forest... Lars saw Sans frowned when he described the device and the way it reacted to him. But maybe he just imagined things…</p><p>“Space… what it’s like?” Papyrus suddenly asked quietly when Lars paused to finish his already cold tea.</p><p>“Space? Oooh, I'm afraid words cannot convey it... The space is incredible! It is endless, full of secrets you may never solve. Unless you have an indefinite number of extra years left…” Lars coughed. “There are… so many planets. Nebulas. Millions, no, billions of bright stars! From a distance they all seem to be silvery-white... But you should have seen how beautiful the warm orange stars are! Calm blue and explosive red. In space, they’re all so different, each with its own history and character. So many stars that at some point you are risking to lost yourself... to forget about time and space... about everything...”</p><p>Lars stopped talking and sat back on the couch, raising his eyes to the ceiling. His thoughts were taking him too far and it seemed like his own speech suddenly squeezed all strength out of him. He couldn’t even imagine he missed his place in this world... so much...</p><p>“Wow. Sounds awesome.” Sans mouthed.</p><p>“Now I want to see the real stars even more!” Papyrus sighed dreamily. “I bet the flickering crystals in Waterfall are no match for them!”</p><p>And in that moment Lars suddenly slapped his forehead so hard it made both brothers and their dog flinch. Without explanation, he jumped off the couch and ran to the table where he left his belt, next to Sans' pet rock. Noticing how sharply the object of his observation moved towards the door, the dog ran after him, barking warningly at him, and fell silent only when Papyrus shushed him.</p><p>“Aha! I knew I took it with me!”</p><p>“Took what with you?”</p><p>The pirate returned, demonstratively tossing a small box in his hand. On the way, he flipped a switch, plunging the room into near-total darkness.</p><p>“What’s this for?” Sans nodded at the strange thing in his hand. “Are you going to scare us?”</p><p>“It's a holographic projector. Get ready, my friends, for now... you’re going to be wowied!</p><p>"If it works, of course..." Lars added to himself, trying to hide anxiety. It would be very embarrassing if nothing happened after such an intriguing start... But, despite all his worries, when the pirate carefully put the box on his open palm and pressed it with his thumb, the ceiling and part of the walls of the living room turned into the starry sky...</p><p> </p><p>The deep blackness was scattered by the billions of lights. They were different sizes and shapes, shining white, like snow-flakes in the night. Blinked and flickered away, yet they always returned - like shy but curious little creatures hiding in the shadows.</p><p>They were stars.</p><p>On the wall on the second floor, where doors to the brothers' rooms were, stars merged into a silvery blue ribbon that took a pale pink color as it was getting closer to Sans' room. The image moved. The stars danced slowly along the walls and ceiling, replacing each other, and soon the blues colors of the sky gave way to warm orange and red.</p><p>Lars's voice cut through the silence as something, resembling a bright blue eye with a sparkly layer around it, settled in the center of the ceiling:</p><p>“This is the Helix Nebula. Pretty cool, huh? It looks more like an eye if you ask me, but... Well, whatever you call it, it’s beautiful. And this one...”</p><p>Lars turned the gear on the right side of the box. The picture of the starry sky shifted, and soon the new breathtaking picture appeared on the ceiling. From a certain viewing angle it was resembling a person’s head surrounded by a puffy hood.</p><p>“...the Eskimo Nebula! It became Rutile’s favorite once they knew this nebula is located in the constellation of Gemini. They even call it their happy nebula.”</p><p>He remembered how the twins were standing together holding hands and looking at the nebula through the dense windows of the ship. Arguing about the color of its separate gas filaments. Counting the stars around it. They were so happy...</p><p>“There are so much more of them, you can't count… Oh, let me show you how the constellations look like! Now, just look at this... this...”</p><p>But Lars stopped short as his gaze fell on the brothers. Of course, he wanted to impress them with this performance, but he didn't expect to see them... like this. Both froze on the couch, fascinated by the illusion, as if they had seen this for the very first time in their lives... Did Lars just said something wrong? Or did something he shouldn’t do?..</p><p>Sans' expression was... hard to understand. A mix of pain, sadness... and delight? His eyes were twitching slightly, as if he wanted to close them, just not to see what he was looking at. And at the same time he couldn't look away... Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed completely enchanted, slowly turning his head from one placer of stars to another. Lars felt vague melancholy, watching the skeleton stretched out his hand, as if he wanted to touch the bright blue star above him.</p><p>The hologram suddenly blinked and then disappeared, plunging the room into pitch darkness… Even with the lights on, there never was too bright, but… it didn't cause any inconvenience before. For now, Lars felt how hard this darkness pressed on him, intending to pin him to the floor, forcing him not to move, not to do anything. Not even breathe… Silence absorbed the house for several long minutes, rarely broken by random sounds from the street and the ticking of the wall clock.</p><p>“I... I'm sorry.”</p><p>Why he was apologizing? Did it came out automatically? Lars tucked the holographic projector into his hoodie pocket and squeezed it in his hand, forcing himself to speak again.</p><p>“T-this is just a hologram, but… You know what? I'll show you the real stars. I promise.”</p><p>Two pairs of surprised eyes - eye sockets that seemed even darker and deeper in the darkness - stared at him. Don’t need to be overly observant to realize that this unexpected promise had caught both brothers off guard. Sans leaned back on the couch, too abruptly to call it a natural movement, and laughed nervously.</p><p>“Heh, yeah. I hope you crossed fingers, buddy.”</p><p>Dog jumped on the couch, and Sans immediately called him over, pretending that he’s very busy scratching fluffy dog’s belly.</p><p>But Lars didn't made that promise by accident. He was serious.</p><p>“No, I… Look, I have enough room on the ship if you’re worried about that. And my crew will not mind, really! I, oof...!”</p><p>He haven’t noticed when Papyrus quietly slid off the couch, approached him and hugged him so tightly that the air left his lungs.</p><p>“P... Pap? What are you…”</p><p>“You don’t have to promise us anything,” Papyrus said in hollow voice, his face practically buried into Lars’ shoulder. The pirate froze with his arms raised above him, hesitate to hug him back. He didn’t get a chance to do it tho, because the skeleton suddenly recoiled, smiling broadly and brightly. This house doesn’t need the light of electric lamps - Papyrus did an excellent job of lighting on his own.</p><p>“You've already done too much for us! I... I never imagined that someday I could look at this beauty even out of the corner of my eye! Truly, real stars are so bright...” Papyrus turned to his brother. “Aren't they much brighter than crystals, Sans?”</p><p>“Right, bro,” the small skeleton agreed with a soft smile on his face. Then he waved his hand and the switch clicked by itself. The light in the room came on again, which made Lars, who already got used to the dark, squeeze his eyes shut.</p><p>“The crystals are really… no match for the real stars...”</p><p>“Okay, there is one thing I don't understand,” Lard said perplexed. “What crystals are you talking about all the time? And why have you never seen real stars?”</p><p>Brothers looked at each other with concern, and an unpleasant feeling crept into Lars' soul.</p><p>“Um… Guys?..”</p><p>“You better sit down, buddy,” Sans patted his hand on the couch. “I’m going to tell you a story...”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Undertale</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Everything you see is a limited closed area. You won’t see the stars from here… Except for the miserable parodies of them, in the form of energy lamps created by monsters. Or the shining crystals growing in some zones. But the real sky is hidden from us by an unbreakable stone. We are lucky to see only a hint of sunlight: in certain places with the cracks on the walls, it seeps in here and gives food to the earth, covering it with a carpet of golden flowers. But even if there were someone among us who could fly, we still wouldn’t be able to get out through these crevices. In addition to the stone, a strong magical force separating the Underground from the Surface. The Barrier, that humans put here long ago.”</p><p>Sans spoke in a slow, monotone voice, looking neither at Lars nor Papyrus. His hand continued to run up and down the fur of the dog lying on his lap, as if it had a calming effect on him. Shocked by the beginning of the story, Lars was peering into skeleton's face, hoping now he would grin, raise the corners of his eyes, give a slightest hint that he was just kidding!</p><p>But Sans looked serious.</p><p>“If you ask me why, well… I don’t know. Papyrus and I, we weren’t here when it happened. Those who still remember the sunlight say that a long time ago a war broke out between humans and monsters. And the winners, as you may see, were the humans. They reserved the right to live on the Surface, and the monsters were locked here, with a huge barrier neither of us managed to get through. Pretty sophisticated punishment for the losers, doncha' think?”</p><p>Lars remained silent. He couldn’t say anything to this, he was just… mad. But he was afraid his strong reaction would only upset brothers, so he continued to listen silently. </p><p>The skeleton paused briefly before speaking again - this time he accelerated the pace of the story, as if he suddenly wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.</p><p>“The legend says the Barrier can be destroyed. But the monsters need seven human souls for it. Now, I bet you can guess what this is all about. The reason why Papyrus was going to capture you...”</p><p>Sans' white pupils turned to his younger brother, who was still standing in front of the couch with his arms wrapped around himself. His shoulders all high and tense and his gaze was directed to the side. But somehow he realized that Sans was looking right at him, and continued the story:</p><p>“The Royal Guard was made for it. They patrol the surroundings, guard the peace of the monsters... and hunt down humans who have fallen into the Underground in order to bring them to our king, Asgore Dreemurr. I've... I've always wanted to be part of the Royal Guard. To benefit the monsters. To be useful. But I had to prove my worth to them first, by catching a human if they came from the forests of Snowdin. If I could do it, Undyne would officially make me a Guard and that... that would be my dream come true. But...”</p><p>“...and the fulfillment of all our dreams,” Sans added. “Because, you see, buddy... You are, in fact, the last remaining soul.”</p><p>“The last... soul?” Lars repeated awkwardly, looking at the silhouette of Papyrus, barely visible in the dimly lit living room, nervously pulling on his scarf.</p><p>“Yup. Humans have come here several times. Someone, driven by curiosity, came directly to the royal castle through the Barrier. Someone, barely alive, was brought by stormy waters... But many years have passed since we saw the owner of the sixth soul here. We have practically lost hope. And then... here you are. In the Snowdin forest. Funny, huh?”</p><p>“Sans, this is not funny at all!” Papyrus put so much emotion into these words that it came out much louder than he expected. Realizing this, he covered his mouth with his hands. But Sans only smiled in response. </p><p>“I know what everyone dreams about,” Papyrus said very quietly. “This is my dream too, you know! But you have heard about Fluorite, the Rutile twins, Rhodonite and Padparadscha. Have you? They're out there somewhere, alone among the stars, waiting for their captain to return. Do we really have any right to separate them? This is just... not fair.”</p><p>“What do you mean, bro?”</p><p>The skeleton paused a few moments, his eyes were still fixed on the side.</p><p>“It… it doesn't have to be Lars…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ...Lars? </em>
</p><p>The pirate widened his eyes in surprise, literally for the first time hearing Papyrus call him by his name. He was already used to simple "Human", and his own name now sounded so strange, harsh and… alien even. Lars wanted to correct him. Clarify if it was a mistake. Or was Papyrus just mocking him?… Damn it, why did he even need an explanation?! Why does this absolutely meaningless detail suddenly turn out to be so important to him? </p><p>“Perhaps, there will be another human… Evil and dishonest. Someone who deserves to... well...” Papyrus' face was almost completely hidden under his red scarf, so it was harder to make out his words. “But Lars should return home. To his crew. I bet they are... worried sick about him...”</p><p> </p><p>Then it got quiet... too quiet. It seemed that silence took over the entire space. Despite the fact that all three were at some distance from each other, everyone suddenly felt it became so stuffy and cramped in the spacious living room. Papyrus squeezed his scarf with his fingers, Sans was still petting the dog without even looking at anyone.</p><p>Lars wondered if he got it right. So... he wasn’t in another world? He never moved to another planet or some other galaxy? Everything turned out to be much easier than he thought ever since began to wander through the snow-covered forest and meet various creatures that he could only see in books, films or computer games before. Lars was still on the same strange, abandoned planet. But somewhere deep, deep underground.</p><p>The brothers talked about… people? Papyrus called him a "human". And Sans talked about the war in which they, the monsters, fought against the race that bears the same name as the inhabitants of Lars' home planet. So people lived here too? Did they look like him? Did they have the same abilities? No, judging by Sans' story, these humans could do something… more. Something that helped them imprison an entire race in caves underground.</p><p>But what happened to these "humans", since now the entire outer part of the planet was completely empty? And should he talk about this with brothers?...</p><p>“Actually…”</p><p>“Eh. Doesn’t matter.”</p><p>Lars flinched when Sans' indifferent voice cut him off, then tried to focus his eyes on him. Did he miss something? Because, before he was distracted by his own thoughts, Sans looked sad and lost, but now he was sprawled on the other side of the couch, his hands behind his head and looked so relaxed. His eyebrows were raised up and his eyes were closed, as if a great big thing had been lifted off his shoulders. The dog was already awake and moved across the couch to Lars, playing with his hoodie strings.</p><p>“Um… What exactly?” the pirate asked with caution, taking away the string from the dog.</p><p>“You know. All of this,” Sans shook his head and opened his left eye, turning to Papyrus. “If this is what you want... We won't tell anyone that a human has fallen from the Surface and take this guy out of here. Whatcha think, bro?”</p><p>“You… are you serious?” the voice of the younger brother hit the usual high notes.</p><p>“Yup. You know it, Papyrus. I am always on your side.”</p><p>“Sans...”</p><p>“Generally speaking, Lars can easily cross the Barrier, because it has no effect on those who have a strong soul. So all we have to do is make sure he gets to the Barrier in one piece. Not such a difficult task.”</p><p>“But how do I know if I have a strong soul?” The pirate asked doubtfully.</p><p>“Are you a human?”</p><p>“I... yes?”</p><p>“Then don’t worry,” Sans gave him a calm smile. “You are the owner of a strong soul, I assure you.”</p><p>Papyrus clapped his hands happily and rushed to his brother, squeezed him tight. Lars felt how something that had fettered his heart with heavy chains, finally shattered into pieces. And not only because he now had a hope to return to his crew safe and sound...</p><p>“Oh, Sans, you are the best!” Papyrus exclaimed, hugging his brother. “Then we will discuss the plan of action tomorrow morning! Until then, everyone should get a good night's sleep!”</p><p>“What, even you?” Sans grinned. For some reason, Papyrus ignored the question. Instead, he pulled his brother over, forcing him to get off the couch, and pushed him towards the stairs, making it clear that they were going to beds right now.</p><p>“I'll get you a pillow and a blanket, Lars. I’m terribly sorry, we have only this couch...” the skeleton smiled apologetically. “But I’ll make sure Sans won’t wake you up with his nightly wanderings around the house!”</p><p>“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry… I usually sleep very soundly,” the pirate preferred to keep silent about the fact that he doesn't even need to sleep. Although, frankly, today he was going to try to do it…</p><p> </p><p> ***</p><p>But even when everything went quiet, and Lars remained in the living room alone, he couldn’t sleep. He took off his hoodie, left it hanging on the back of the couch, and lay under a blanket. His eyes thoughtlessly followed the motes of dust floating in the air, while the events of the day passed by in his head. An unnaturally pale light poured from the window, giving the walls of the room a ghostly bluish tint, which gave the impression that the world around the pirate was not real. As if all this was just his imagination, a dream, a hallucination with no way out...</p><p>Lars felt desperate.</p><p>The thoughts in his head, like a flock of swallows, rushed from the story about the barrier to the six human souls that the monsters already had in their hands. And from them to his friends who remained outside. On the Surface. Could they hear Lars from here? Most likely not. </p><p>Are they all right?...</p><p>Lars touched his hair with his hand, checked again to see if it worked. He was still hoped that something would change and his abilities would start working normally. But the portal in his head didn’t work here, in this godforsaken place. He will not be able to take Sans and Papyrus out of here the way he helped Steven escape from the Homeworld.</p><p>Lars felt his soul about to be torn apart.</p><p>He sighed heavily and covered his face with his hands. No matter how heavy the burden of the monsters was, he had his own life and responsibilities. Right? He was the captain of the Off colors. He definitely had to return, even if it means that Sans and Papyrus will...</p><p>No. If not for himself, then for the Off colors. He had to leave.</p><p>Lars gritted his teeth, filled with determination.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Nice plan, genius</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>To translate puns from one language to another is a pain in the... I mean, it's really hard. I'm sorry if all this doesn't make sense, haha...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A quiet, indistinct noise made Lars squeeze his eyes shut and cover himself with the blanket over the head. He lay there for a while, before finally waking up... and then, in surprise, opened his eyes and sat down on the couch, trying to remember when exactly did he fall asleep. Since he changed his human color to a flower pink, the need for regular sleep has disappeared. Lars could still fall into oblivion at will, enjoying some extremely realistic dreams, tho...</p><p>Today, however, he seems to have actually fallen asleep. He couldn’t remember the details of the dream - moreover, he was almost sure that he hadn’t dreamed of anything. So he was just sleeping? Just like the most ordinary person did? Seemed even that he had a good night's sleep! Well, his back ached from the uncomfortable position… but still.</p><p>“Huh... Feels so unusual.”</p><p>Lars scratched the back of his head in puzzlement and looked around the room. It was much lighter in the morning. The feeling of surreal and ominous surroundings, which tormented him during the night, now disappeared - he was in the most ordinary living room with the most ordinary walls painted with burgundy paint, and sat on the most ordinary green couch. He raised his head and stood up a little to peer over the stair rail to the second floor. The door to Papyrus' room was slightly ajar, but, judging by the delicious smell and sounds of humming coming from the kitchen, the skeleton wasn’t there. Lars got up, rubbed his eyes and stretched. Then, folding the blanket and pillow into the corner of the couch, he leisurely walked into the kitchen, throwing hoodie over his shoulders.</p><p>Papyrus was already standing at the stove cooking breakfast. He changed his heroic costume for jeans and a beige sweater with wide sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Only the red scarf around the neck remained unchanged. The pirate noticed that, unlike clothes that his older brother wore, and which he kindly lent to Lars, Papyrus' clothes looked almost like new...</p><p>The dog, who was supposed to keep an eye on the "human", was sitting under the table watching his owner carefully. Waiting for a snack, probably... </p><p>“Oh!”</p><p>Lars flinched. Seemed like Papyrus finally noticed he wasn’t alone in the kitchen. However, the fright immediately changed to a cheerful smile, and the skeleton threw the pan forward, upward, and back in a sharp motion, flipping the omelet.</p><p>“Good morning! You're just in time for breakfast!”</p><p>“Morning... Have you even slept?” Lars asked, just in case.</p><p>“The Great Papyrus never sleeps!” Papyrus said proudly and cut a piece of freshly made omelet, offering it to the dog. While the little furball was hiding deeper under the table with the long awaited snack, Lars peered at Papyrus, hoping that he was at least half-joking. Seeing someone so chipper this early in the morning always annoyed him terribly. But right now he was rather worried...</p><p>Suddenly something gently but persistently pushed him aside, and then Sans walked into the kitchen, squeezing between Lars and the doorframe. He looked so unbearably sleepy, the pirate assumed that today only two were sleeping in this house - he and the dog.</p><p>“Sans! Good morning to you too,” Papyrus exclaimed with a mixture of joy and big surprise. “You're so early today, I'm impressed!”</p><p>The small skeleton grumbled something in response as he sat down at the table, supporting his heavy head with his hand. He doesn’t even open his eyes. Looked like he was determined to sleep off right here...</p><p>And then Lars realized something.</p><p>“Wait a minute. Did you just walk in here… I mean, on your feet? But what about teleportations? Sudden appearances from nowhere?”</p><p>“Listen, kid, it's only six in the morning,” Sans muttered under his breath. “I can't even breathe this early. And if you keep joking, you’ll stop breathing too.”</p><p>Lars’ lips curled into a grin. Although he really wanted to take revenge on Sans for yesterday's pranks, he didn’t comment on this. It may be that at such an early morning he won’t be as kind and lazy as usual.</p><p> </p><p>After breakfast friends moved back to the living room to discuss a plan for further action. Sans said there was only one place in the Underground where Lars could walk through - the Barrier in the royal castle. So they were planning to take him there. Although it sounded suicidal, the brothers assured there shouldn't be a problem. The main thing - in this opinion both brothers agreed - they should avoid meeting with the members of the Royal Guard. Especially with their captain...</p><p>“...So, there are no hidden paths that the guards won't patrol?” Lars looked up from the map Papyrus handed him.</p><p>“You think the king would have left at least one corner without a patrol, considering there have already been humans here?” Sans chuckled. “Hate to disappoint ya, kid.”</p><p>“And no quick ways to get to the castle?”</p><p>“We have the boat, but there is always a guard on it. Sans uses shortcuts sometimes... but this ability is extremely limited in frequency,” Papyrus explained. “And we don't even know how it works on humans. There’s still a chance you won't survive such teleportations…”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>“Do not worry! Of course, we have a rather risky journey ahead of us... But it might be fun too!”</p><p>“Plus, walking is good... for bones,” Sans added in a mocking tone.</p><p>“Well, as a matter of fact, yes!”</p><p>Lars pondered, staring at the map again. Yes, the chances of meeting the guards were very high. But they could always run or hide from them. On the other hand, to risk his life, checking whether his body would withstand some strange teleportations...</p><p>“All right, if the only way to get to this place is on foot… so be it. Let's hope the members of the Royal Guard not a very good runners…”</p><p>“Are you kidding me, these monsters are the elite! Without exception, they all undergo rigorous physical training. Of course they’re good runners!” Papyrus protested. The pirate cringed under his righteous anger, burying his face deeper into the map.</p><p>“That’s cool, Pap. But this fact doesn't make me feel better...”</p><p>The skeleton gasped and began to apologize for his sharp reaction. However, Lars never thought to be offended by it. After all, Papyrus was preparing to join the Royal Guard, of course he had the highest opinion of them.</p><p>By the way...</p><p>“Um, Papyrus…? I just want to make sure I understand… You can't join the Royal Guard until you catch a human. Is that right?”</p><p>Papyrus’ face was confused only for a few seconds before meeting Lars's anxious gaze. But then he smiled softly, as if he didn’t feel even a bit of sadness about it.</p><p>“It’s okay, Lars. It sure is my greatest dream, but I… I don’t want to achieve it like this. Not through the life of an innocent person. Therefore, please do not blame yourself. This is my own decision, and mine alone.”</p><p>Pirate's heart sank. But at the same time he felt grateful. The contradictory nature of these feelings raised a real storm in his soul, but he suppressed it. He had already made a decision and wasn't going to think it over again. It'll only make things harder…</p><p>“Pap. You're so cool, you know that?”</p><p>“Me? Cool? Do you really... I mean...” Papyrus blinked. “W-well, haha, of course I am! The coolest skeleton alive!” </p><p>His eyes nervously ran along the walls, as if were looking for something - anything - that could quickly change the subject. Lars had never expected to receive such a reaction from someone who recently called himself "the Great". But perhaps he should apologize for the uninvited compliment and try to divert the conversation himself... but, unexpectedly for everyone, Sans came to the rescue.</p><p>“Those guys who patrolling Hotland, they're not very smart. I bet getting around them won't be a problem. There are no guards in Waterfall tho...”</p><p>“This is good, right?” Lars raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“How to say. This is Undyne’s territory and, well. I’m not sure she needs any help with patrolling. She's got everything in hand. It will be hard to go unnoticed... But I’ve got a plan.”</p><p>“You… really?” Papyrus said, rather surprised. Sans nodded.</p><p>“Once we get to Waterfall, I'll go ahead and let you know if I meet her. Simple and ingenious, right?”</p><p>“Sans, this is... This is quite an elaborate plan!” Papyrus appreciated. The small skeleton shrugged and calmly gazed at his brother.</p><p>“What? You thought I can only sleep on my job, don’t you?”</p><p>“Of course not! I always said there is a huge unrealized potential hidden in you! You’re just…” Papyrus fell silent for a moment, trying to find the words. ”...usually don’t care much...”</p><p>Sans' eyes twinkled strangely, and Lars realized this wouldn’t end well.</p><p>“You're right, bro. I shouldn't be so <em> careless </em>most of the time.”</p><p>“Sans.”</p><p>“But I am lucky to have a brother as <em> caring </em>as you.”</p><p>“Sans, please…”</p><p>“So I feel like I must thank you for your advices and your <em> carefulness.. </em>.”</p><p>“OH MY GOD!” Papyrus jumped from the couch and threw up his hands. ”Sans, could you please do me a favor!”</p><p>“Sure thing, bro, you know that’s my <em> favorite </em> thing to do,” Sans smiled broadly. Lars hid his face in his hands, but couldn’t help laughing at his jokes. Come on, it weren't so bad! But now, Lars was afraid to even look Papyrus in the eyes - he was sure that he would see only deep disappointment in them.</p><p>Through muffled laughter, he heard the older brother's voice: “What? He’s in a good mood now!“ then the sound of Papyrus’ deep sigh. Lars rubbed his eyes and held his breath to calm himself. When he raised his head, he saw Papyrus wasn’t in the room. There were only him, Sans and the dog.</p><p>“Where…”</p><p>“Papyrus will be back soon,” the small skeleton waved his hand. “Don't you think he took offense and left you here to me?”</p><p>“Well, at any case, I guess I deserved it,” Lars smiled and ran his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes once again. “Papyrus doesn't like your puns too much, does he?”</p><p>“He thinks it lazy and stupid. And he's right I guess, to laugh at this sort of jokes is a bit beneath his dignity. My bro has a subtle sense of humor, you see, ” said the skeleton, leaning back on the couch. He wasn’t even trying to hide the admiration for his brother. “As it should be for a monster of his level.”</p><p>“Obviously…”</p><p>Lars suddenly fell silent. He folded his hands in his lap and began to run his thumb over the knuckles of his other hand. Everything about him began to give out nervousness. Sans pretended not to notice, but soon Lars broke the silence himself:</p><p>“Actually, Sans, I wanted to ask you something… You said that you and Papyrus did not participate in the war, right? Does this mean you haven’t seen the surface since birth?”</p><p>"Yeah. Why?" the skeleton asked indifferently.</p><p>“Then… how can you be sure… that everything is much better there than here?”</p><p>Pictures of the empty, lifeless planet he landed on with the Off colors flashed before Lars' eyes. These pictures had been popping up in his head since yesterday evening, but the pirate didn’t want to talk about it in front of Papyrus for some reason...</p><p>“None of us have any idea what awaits us on the Surface. But you have to agree, everything is better than a life bounded by dry stone walls,” Sans replied. “Yeah we know it won’t be easy. But it will be... different there. And that's better than staying here forever. Don’t you think?”</p><p>“I… yeah. Of course it is better.” Lars almost whispered in response. “This was a dumb question. Sorry for asking…”</p><p>“Eh. No problem, pal.”</p><p>At that moment, a door slammed on the second floor, making Lars almost jump out of his seat. Papyrus walked down the stairs, holding an old shabby backpack in his arms. Once he came down, he handed the backpack to the pirate, smiling cheerfully - as if it wasn’t him who was upset at Sans for his puns just a few minutes ago.</p><p>“Cute... What’s that for?” Lars asked.</p><p>“Well, you're not going to carry your suit in your hands!”</p><p>The pirate only now realized that the backpack wasn’t empty - his captain's suit, washed and neatly pressed, as well as the belt and all other things that Lars had with him, were already folded into it. </p><p>“Wha… When did you...? Wait,” Lars reaches up to scratch his neck, feeling a little bit awkward. “Aww man... You didn't have to do that, really.”</p><p>“Nonsense! I had some free time,” Papyrus shook his head. Lars wondered when exactly he found "free time" for all this. “I just thought it would be better to stay in these clothes while you’re here. You know… So as not to attract attention.”</p><p>“Ah, that's true…Anyway, thank you, Pap. I… really appreciate this.”</p><p>“You're welcome!” the skeleton’s smile shine even brighter.</p><p>“Just don’t forget to return my hoodie at the end.” Sans smirked.</p><p>“You need it, Sans? Really?” Papyrus put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, giving his brother a doubtful look. “You have been wearing the same one for several years!”</p><p>“Well you know. It has some sentimental value.”</p><p>Lars smiled, listening to the little argument between brothers. But soon he was carried away with uneasy feelings. Everyone in this house was so kind to him. If only he could do something for them in return...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. On the doorstep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Papyrus put his boots on and looked up at their small squad: two skeletons, a human and the dog. Quite a motley group, so to speak, but he was sure monsters are used to it. Maybe they will reach the royal castle without encountering any difficulties or curious questions along the way. Hopefully...</p><p>“So, our primary concern is do not let Undyne see us,” he reminded, adjusting his red scarf. Sans nodded calmly in response. It was hard to believe that he actually took part in this adventure! Usually it was a huge challenge to make Sans do even his own job. The skeleton was so lazy, it seemed he usually listened to Papyrus with half an ear. Or completely ignored him even... But this time it was different, and Papyrus was really happy his brother was by his side.</p><p>“Got it, bro. After leaving Snowdin I'll take a shortcut and inform you if something goes wrong.”</p><p>“Okay. But please...”</p><p>“…I'll be as careful as possible. Stay cool, bro. Undyne won't even notice me.”</p><p>A slight smile flashed across Papyrus' face.</p><p>“Okay. Thank you, Sans... So, are you all ready?”</p><p>“Ready as never before!”</p><p>“Never been more ready.”</p><p>“Woof!”</p><p>Papyrus leaned over to the dog and patted him between his ears. Of course, his opinion was also taken into account!</p><p>Lars suddenly asked: “What about you, Papyrus?” </p><p>The skeleton hesitated for a second, then looked up at him. He saw a strange expression come over the human's face... His brows raised and drawn together, his eyes watched his carefully. Come to think of it, Undyne often had the same expression. Especially when she asked Papyrus how he was feeling after a hard workout... Was he worried? Doesn't seem like it. Actually, Lars looked bold and determined. He had to! After all, he was going on a long and dangerous journey. He should’ve stayed confident.</p><p>Everything will be fine. The Great Papyrus will make sure of that!</p><p>“Of course I'm ready!” Papyrus said excitedly and smiled, demonstrating to the pirate his fighting spirit. “It'll be so cool! Such an experience. We're just like the main characters from the adventure story!”</p><p>“With a happy ending, i hope.”</p><p>“Don't you even dare to doubt it, Sans! I know you may find it useless, but we need to stay positive! This is the only way to achieve everything you want. With belief and hard work!”</p><p>Sans wanted to say something, but only waved his hand at his brother right after his last phrase. Papyrus gave him a suspicious look before turning around and finally opened the door...</p><p>Then suddenly slammed it back, leaned against it.</p><p>“What's the matter, bro? What's the delay?” Sans asked, tilting his head to one side. There was such an innocent expression on his face that Papyrus almost began to suspect it was some sort of stupid prank...</p><p>No. Sans wouldn't joke like that even on his worst days.</p><p>“It's <em> her </em>!” skeleton whispered, panicked.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>The question dumbfounded him. Papyrus began to gesticulate, unable to utter a word. After a moment he continued in a loud whisper:</p><p>“<em> Who?! </em> Are you serious, Sans? Who do you think it can be?!”</p><p>“Dunno. King Asgore?”</p><p>“Wha- What? Heavens no! It’s Undyne!”</p><p>“Oh... So early in these parts? Shall we invite her for tea?</p><p>“Not fucking funny, man!” Lars whispered. Papyrus saw how scared he was. No wonder… </p><p>But why? Why did Undyne come here? Who… He certainly didn’t inform her about the Human! Now what were they supposed to do? Papyrus pressed his fists to his skull, thoughts swarmed his mind. Considering that Undune was practically on their doorstep, they really had no choice…</p><p>“Sans. Hide Lars in your room, please. I'll distract Undyne and try to get her out of the way. But if…”</p><p>A strong knock on the door drowned out his quiet speech. They heard a voice coming from the other side. She sounded... worried.</p><p>“Papyrus! Are you home?” </p><p>A shiver ran through Papyrus' body and he leaned away from the door, covering his mouth with his hand so his voice sounded like from afar:</p><p>“Yeah, um… Just a minute, Undyne! Don’t… don't break the door, please!”</p><p>Meanwhile, Lars felt a hand grab his forearm. Sans put his finger to his mouth, urging him to keep very quiet, and led him towards the stairs. The dog, torn between duty and the desire to stay with his owner, began to whimper softly, but Papyrus silently ordered him to follow the Human.</p><p> </p><p>A minute later, after making sure the door to his brother's room was closed, the skeleton tiptoed deeper into the room and then returned to the front door again, making his footsteps sound louder. Perhaps he was overdoing it, but how could he know? He never had to lie like that before… He was nervous, trembling, but Papyrus understood he had to make every effort to look calm. The lock clicked… Papyrus took a deep breath, put his hand on the doorknob and turned it, opened the door...</p><p>“Howdy, Undyne!” Papyrus greeted with a wide smile, leaning against the doorframe. “What a pleasant surprise! May I ask what brings you to our humble abode this morning?”</p><p>Nailed it.</p><p>“Oh, thank god you're okay,” the Captain of the Royal Guard breathed a sigh of relief. “You didn't show up for your training. I tried to call you, but the line was busy, and I… Urgh, what the heck, Papyrus?! You scared the hell out of me! I came running here straight from Waterfall! Sure I never mind a morning jog… but not with the risk of a heart attack!!”</p><p>Papyrus was silent for almost a minute, giving no reaction to her whole tirade. His phone… He hasn't checked it since yesterday. To be honest, the skeleton couldn't even remember where he left it. In the Snowdin forest, perhaps…?</p><p>“Papyrus!”</p><p>“Huh? Oh yes! A training!”</p><p>A training…</p><p>His weekly early morning training with Undyne! God, how could THIS slip his mind?!</p><p>“Oh… s-sorry, Undyne! I… have no idea what came over me! I just… I wasn't feeling well yesterday and… my phone went missing somewhere. I wanted to call you, but…</p><p>Papyrus cut himself off mid-sentence. The worried look on Undyne’s face slowly changed to disappointment… He had completely forgotten the last time she asked him to never use any excuses. Better say straight away that you messed up and work on it, than to look for reasons of your action - that's what she said.</p><p>“I mean… I’m sorry, Captain! This won't happen again, I promise!”</p><p>“I really hope so. After all, it's a danger zone, and I want to be able to contact you in case anything happens,” Undyne said, crossing her arms over her chest. Then, she suddenly looked around and added, lowering her voice: “Moreover. I’m not sure, but… I heard someone had seen a human in the forest.”</p><p>Papyrus felt the heat on his face. Just like the last time he opened the oven and thoughtlessly looked inside, checking if mac and cheese were finished...</p><p>“H-h-human? In the forest?... Pfft, naaaah! This is absolutely out of the question! Yesterday I patrolled the forest all day and hadn't met any, um, suspicious individuals! I mean... Maybe some drunk monsters saw my snowman and took it for a human? You know it, Undyne. There have been no humans since...”</p><p>Papyrus tried his best to hide his emotions. Undyne listened without even looking at him, and soon he began to worry she wouldn’t believe a single word. But…</p><p>“Yeah. You’re right, Papyrus. We haven't seen a single human after that strange earthquake,” she turned her face to her friend, giving him a bright smile. “But we’re still holding out hope, right?”</p><p>“Y-yes… of course, Undyne.”</p><p>“Well then. I'm glad you're alright!” The Captain of the Royal Guard clapped Papyrus on the shoulder. He was so tense he didn't even flinch. “But next time you decide to skip our training without warning… You'll be running thirty laps around Hotland. Understood?”</p><p>“Got it, Captain!”</p><p>“That’s the spirit!” cheered Undyne as she started to walk away from the house. “Okay, gotta run. Get well soon Pap!”</p><p>She was already pretty far from the door, when suddenly turned around again, making Papyrus flinch inwardly.</p><p>“If you don't feel better tomorrow, you can skip one more training!”</p><p>“Oh okay… Thanks Undyne!”</p><p>“But just one! And go to the doctor right away, okay?”</p><p>“Got it!”</p><p>“Tell Sans I said hi!”</p><p>“I will!”</p><p>“IT’S EIGHT IN THE MORNING, WILL YOU SHUT UP?!”</p><p>Papyrus shrank a bit, looking around. The one who shouted, barely heard a quiet "sorry" thrown into the void... When Undyne finally disappeared into the fog, Papyrus stood in silence for a moment, waiting in case she would come back again. But she did not and Papyrus finally stepped back into the house. He closed the door and leaned back against it, then exhaustedly slid down to the floor. Any other day Undyne's genuine concern for him would have touched him to the core, but now... he felt lousy. </p><p>Sitting on the floor, the skeleton pulled his knees up to his chest and rested head on them.</p><p>He lied to her.</p><p>He, the Great Papyrus, the hero of Snowdin. Defender of the innocent, protector of the weak. He, like no one else, should have known that giving misleading information is a flagrant crime! The credo of a real hero is to be honest! Real heroes never withhold the truth, even if it might play to their advantage. But Papyrus, who dreamed of becoming such a hero… he lied. Not just to anyone, but to Undyne herself! To his mentor! To his dear friend... Of course, he was forced to do it, he had to protect the human... but this did not diminish the fact that he grossly violated his own rule!</p><p>Suddenly, there was a sound of a creaking door from the upstairs. Papyrus raised his head, smiling at his brother and Lars, who appeared on the second floor. The dog stood there too, pressing his head to the human’s leg, whimpering softly.</p><p>“Sans, Undyne said hi.”</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“Is everything alright?” Lars asked, looking at Papyrus anxiously from above. Without waiting for an answer, he took a few steps towards the stairs, but the skeleton's voice made him stop.</p><p>“Yes! O-of course! Everything is just fine! But, maybe we should go on our adventure a bit later. You know, when everything settles down. Also I think I left my phone in the forest...”</p><p>“I'll look for it,” Sans suggested. Papyrus immediately shook both his hands and head.</p><p>“No, no, do not bother yourself! I’ll do it! I wanted to take a walk anyway... to clear my head and think... You stay here. I’ll be back real soon!”</p><p>With these words, Papyrus stood up and slipped out the door, leaving the others at a loss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Millions of flowing streams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was very hard to translate, and I’m not sure I did everything right. I'm so sorry for the dumb mistakes.<br/>Feel free to correct my grammar, I'll be very grateful &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light from the shimmering crystals were casting shadows on the cave walls. At first, it was quite light here and crystals didn’t attract attention, but as Lars and Papyrus moved further, the darkness absorbed them more and more, and the shadows became deeper. The silent shadows crept up to the ceiling like crooked stripes, scattered and dissolved in the darkness. They were like gnarled branches of dried trees swaying in the wind. An image worthy for a horror movie. Sadie would love it for sure.</p><p>Fortunately, Lars wasn't here alone. The dog was walking ahead and Papyrus next to him, sharing an entertaining story about how Sans started his own business selling fake telescopes. The air was filled with the gentle murmur of water, flowing calmly on both sides of the road they walked on, and huge chunks of ice floated down the river. The skeleton explained that these ice chunks were needed to cool the mechanisms in the Core - a local power plant, as far as Lars understood. And when the pirate asked about the stormy streams flowing into these rivers, Papyrus told him something interesting:</p><p>“Water flows here from the surface. It’s just thin streams here, but there is a place where its gathers into a great waterfall. It often brings all kinds of stuff here in the underground. One day I found a cool flag there. With the skull and crossbones! Can you imagine?!  I... aww. I completely forgot to show it to you…”</p><p>Lars vaguely recalled hearing the rapid flow of water somewhere in the distance as he, Rutile twins and Rhodonite were searching for the source of the signal. He wondered if the water was running from there? If so, then he and Papyrus were just under that place now...</p><p>Although the pirate continued to convince himself that his crew would be just fine on their own, he couldn’t stop worrying about them. Rhodonite is panicking, probably. She always worries too much about everyone and takes everything to heart... It's a good thing that Rutile twins and Fluorite were there. They could handle stressful situations like real pros! Lars wasn’t afraid to leave the fate of the ship and crew on them. They will figure out how to hide from Emerald and her watchdogs...</p><p>And Padparadscha... sweet Padparadscha, always so positive. She believed in her captain even more than he did. She probably already knows that he’s fine, that he is looking for a way to get back to them! And that he will return - safe and sound...</p><p>“Wow, careful!”</p><p>Lars tripped over a stone and almost tumbled, but luckily, Papyrus caught him, preventing from falling. The pirate didn’t notice when they entered a rough road...</p><p>“Are you okay? You almost fell into the river!”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine... I was just looking at the waterfall and…”</p><p>“Oh I see!” Papyrus suddenly beamed. “You must have... <em> fallen </em> for the falls?”</p><p>Lars almost choked as he stared in disbelief at the skeleton. What was that again? Did he really just... make a pun just like his brother? </p><p>Papyrus smiled apologetically, kicking the rock with his boot.</p><p>“Wa-a-ait a minute... I thought you hate puns!”</p><p>“No, it’s not like that, I... I actually love Sans' jokes! But don't tell him, okay?”</p><p>“What, would that upset him?” Lars scratched his cheek. “And why are you pretending anyway?”</p><p>Papyrus shrugged his shoulders, hiding his hands behind his back, and slowly walked forward. The pirate followed, glancing at him suspiciously, still waiting for an answer. The light from the crystals became dimmer and shadows hung over them in gloomy silhouettes, like the clawed paws. But now, the terrible images of Waterfall were the last thing that bothered Lars.</p><p>“That's just the way it is,” Papyrus finally said. “Sans is joking, I'm getting angry. We’re playing this game for a very long time and… it’s my fault, mostly. But this reaction amuses my brother so much and I really want him to have fun! So I'm... trying to fit in, I guess.</p><p>The pirate frowned, trying to imagine in what situation he would have done the same thing. No examples came to mind, so he looked up again at the skeleton.</p><p>“I don't really understand, sorry... Are you trying to form the impression of yourself that is more comfortable to perceive?”</p><p>Uncertainly, Papyrus nodded.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Well! This is what everyone does.” He turned on his heel and continued walking backwards, as he did on the bridge. “You won't make any friends if you don't behave the way they like… Don’t you agree?”</p><p>“No… Probably? I mean…”  Lars paused. This really made him start thinking. Meanwhile, Papyrus continued:</p><p>“If I want a good relationship with my brother, I’ll try to give him the reaction he expects, you know? It's not okay to pretend, but, in this case... it doesn't hurt anyone. Right?”</p><p>“And how many friends have you made this way?”</p><p>“Oh, well, I…”</p><p>Papyrus giggled awkwardly and almost stumbled, so he had to turn and face the road. Or maybe he did it so Lars won't see his embarrassed face.</p><p>“N... none…?”</p><p>“None?” The pirate repeated, raising his eyebrows. He could see Papyrus’ shoulders tighten up as he said that. But before he could apologize for rubbing salt in his wound, the skeleton turned around again and replied with a light-hearted smile:</p><p>“I just haven't had any luck yet! All I need is to try harder! It's okay. I know making friends is hard. But just because it's hard doesn't mean it's impossible!”</p><p>“And what about Undyne? Aren't you friends with her?” Lars asked suddenly.</p><p>“Why, yes, of course!” Papyrus nodded, hesitated a little bit. “I mean, she is my mentor most of all. But i also consider her a good friend.”</p><p>Lars smiled. Well, it’s not so bad. One good friend is better than no friends at all...</p><p>“She's really awesome. And she's a lot of fun! She knows so much about battles, sports, weapons… And she's training me to fight! Undyne is the one who helped me unlock the full potential of my powers and taught me how to use my magic properly. She said I still have a lot to learn tho… But I'm not giving up!” Papyrus clenched his fists tightly. “I will prove to her that I deserve to be part of the Royal Guard!! Prove that I deserve her friendship! I will grow to her level!”</p><p>“Deserve... her friendship? What do you mean?”</p><p>“If I try really hard, I’ll become as cool as she is. Then she will consider me her equal, and we’ll become best friends! Undyne always says - friendship and respect must be earned. She's so cool! I wish you two could hang out… I think you’d like her too.”</p><p>Papyrus kept smiling the whole time he was talking, and Lars didn't know if he should interfere with his view on it. The skeleton's mood suddenly lifted when it came to Undyne, but some intrusive thought still swirled around in the pirate's head, making him wonder if this friendship was... one-sided?</p><p>Nah. He's probably just thinking too much.</p><p>“Oh... I'm sorry, I got a little too chatty! It doesn't happen often”</p><p>Lars shook his head.</p><p>“Don't worry dude, it’s okay to be talkative sometimes. Besides…”</p><p>He didn’t finish - a phone call interrupted Lars, scaring the hell out of him. Papyrus apologized and pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket.</p><p>“Hello, Sans? What’s up?”</p><p>The pirate froze, listening intently to the voice on the other end of the phone. He didn’t hear much, but Papyrus wasn’t panicking and it was enough to calm Lars down. It soon became clear that Sans wasn’t going to warn them about Undyne… Quite satisfied with it, the pirate made a sign to Papyrus that he will walk around the area while he's talking, and stepped aside. The dog decided to keep him company.</p><p> </p><p>Lars walked with his head up, peering into the impenetrable blackness above. Snowdin didn't give him such a strong feeling of being underground, but now that he knew the truth, everything fell into place. Snowdin's blue-gray sky was nothing but the stone ceiling of a cave, hidden behind the branches of conifers, and the energy generated by the Core was responsible for the lighting... But here, in Waterfall, there were no trees, no magic lighting, no artificially recreated weather - only stone walls, shiny and slippery from the streams flowing on. No matter how hard Lars tried, in the distance he could only see the deep darkness. Even the magic crystals on the walls could not dispel it...</p><p>“Whoops!” </p><p>Lars’ foot slipped on the wet ground. Fortunately, he managed to keep his balance, reflexively spreading his arms wide. His heart skipped a beat... Turned out he was standing on the edge of a steep cliff. Just a couple steps further and Lars would have fallen down to his death…</p><p>“Well that would be a shame,” the pirate exhaled and turned away, just about to go in the opposite direction... But for some reason he froze in place instead. </p><p>A sense of self-preservation urged him to move away from the edge right now... but Lars wouldn’t be himself if he didn't do the opposite: before he knew it, he was already standing at the very cliff, resting his hands on his knees, and looking down. The dark, gaping void trembled as if it was alive, ominously buzzing with a muffled cast-iron hum. The vibration from this hum seemed to be carried through the most hidden corners of the cave.The rhythmic splash of water sounded from the depths, hypnotizing.</p><p>Suddenly, shivers ran down Lars's neck as something unusual caught his attention. At first he caught a change in the rate of the water flow from below, then, for just a second, it seemed to him that something was moving in the darkness. A vague sense of fear, mixed with curiosity, made the blood freeze in his veins.</p><p>“Is... is anyone there?”</p><p>“There… there…” echoed between the stone slopes. Lars slowly squatted down and strained his eyes, trying to identify the shape.</p><p>Papyrus’s voice in the background, still on the phone with his brother. Sans probably was practicing his sparkling sense of humor on him, judging by the sound of Pap’s growling...</p><p>“Wait a minute. Skeletons don't growl, you moron.” Lars said to himself.</p><p>He forced himself to look away from the abyss. What could have alarmed the dog so much? Does he hate the dark? Tired of standing still? Or did Lars do something wrong? He was just about to turn around when the dog started barking even louder.</p><p>But something pushed him. Before Lars even knew, he started to quickly move away from the cave ceiling. The darkness closed around him.</p><p>He was falling down.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Golden flowers in the middle of garbage heaps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lars had a terrible ringing in his ears. Not even ringing - beeping. Horribly long monotonous beeping. The kind of sound the old TV make when a program interrupts for technical reasons. Lars knew the sound for sure, because his parents kept one in the house as a rarity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world was spinning around him like a carousel. Lars could've sworn he felt every piece of his skull aching. Even though he'd been awake for some time, he still made no attempt to move - he was too afraid his poor head would split into pieces. Lars grimaced and opened his eyes, slowly moving his pupils and trying to look around, but there was nothing to focus on. A void above him. Small splashes flying in his face, the sound of water everywhere. Trying to ignore the sharp pain in his head, Lars forced himself to remember what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was falling... for a long time. He thought he was trying to get a grip on something along the way... Probably it saved his life. It was hard to believe Lars could’ve survived such a fall, unless he tried to reduce the speed of falling somehow. But, to be honest, he had no recollection of how he'd landed here… At all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The longer Lars was lying on his back, the more he felt the world spinning around him. Soon he realised if he stay like this any longer he would definitely throw up. So he pushed himself upright, breathing heavily through clenched teeth and tried to move as smoothly as he could. Leaning on his elbows, Lars finally noticed he was lying on a carpet made of hundreds of little gold-colored flowers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh. Looks like you guys broke my fall…” the pirate said hoarsely and ran his fingers through the flowers. Pretty soft. But... why did his head hurt so bad as if it hit the brick wall? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Lars looked around. He was surrounded by small streams flowing down the walls, a big waterfall little farther down. The road ahead was obscured by a thin layer of water, piles of things lying here and there. Wasn't that the place Papyrus was talking about?...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Papyrus! He’s probably worried sick…” Lars tried to get up but suddenly let out a groan and sank to the ground. It was a sharp, shooting pain in his leg below the knee to the ankle. “Ugh, what the... Really, a fracture?! Well, isn't that just wonderful!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How is he supposed to find Papyrus now?! Sure, Lars could try and get up through the pain, but then what? If he ran into Undyne or her guards in that condition, he's gone! If only his radio worked... Or he had a cell phone or… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, wait. He had it! Just before he'd left the house, Sans had given him an old button cell phone, and Lars remembered exactly how he'd stashed it in his backpack so he wouldn't lose it. That thought made him feel a little better. Now he just needed to find his backpack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It must be here somewhere. Couldn't have just vanished into thin air… </span>
  <span>Ah, there it is!” Lars breathed a sigh of relief. </span>
  <span>It was just a meter away, in the same field of flowers. The pirate tried to reach it, but the pain in his leg made him bent in half, panting. Damn it. </span>
  <span>He had to get the damn backpack! Unless the phone was broken from the fall, it was his only chance to contact Papyrus. No time for whining. He needed to…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Howdy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lars flinched at the sound of the voice next to him and bit his lip to keep from screaming. The pain was horrible but he raised his head somehow, secretly hoping that the voice belonged to Papyrus. But, unfortunately, instead of his skeleton friend he saw</span>
</p><p>
  <span>a flower. Looking at him with great interest. A flower with big yellow petals, just like every other one growing in this field. With eyes and a mischievous smile that the others didn’t have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A. Flower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower! What's your name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A talking flower...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lars's eyes moved across what was probably the flower's face. His head was still buzzing, his temples throbbed with pain, but the pirate paid no attention to it anymore. It was so weird. Maybe he's just having hallucinations?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello-o-o? Are you deaf or what? I'm talking to you!” said the flower, chuckling softly, covering his smile with petals. Charming. “What's your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm, um... Lars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, this wasn't a hallucination. Even though Lars had just hit his head... The green stem, the pair of leaves that were apparently substitutes for hands, the fragile yellow petals surrounding the smiling face - it was all too realistic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Lars! You look a bit rough around the edges. Do you need any help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well... Yeah, actually, I do,” Lars glanced down at his backpack. Flower followed his gaze, nodded understandingly and dove beneath the ground. A moment later he reappeared beside the backpack and began pushing it as hard as he could in pirate’s direction. Pretty soon the backpack was close enough for Lars to reach out and grab the handle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flower exhaled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Golly, that's heavy! Do you have bricks in there or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really... Um... thank you. Really. I owe you one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing that, Flowey smiled rather wryly. Though it was hard to tell the nature of his smile. His face was even less expressive than Sans'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t be silly! Just tell me, where are you from? I don't remember seeing you here before!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I'm new in these parts... I'm... from Snowdin,” the pirate knew he had to be very careful on how he put his story together. He needed to keep himself from telling anyone he was from the surface. Sure, the flower looked innocent enough, but if Lars had learned anything in the last few days, it was that he shouldn't underestimate anyone here. Even if they look or act cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I see. I hate the cold, so I don't get there much,” Flowey nodded, falling for his lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess It's easy to freeze your <em>bud  </em></span>
  <span>off out there...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>«Geez, you should have heard it, Sans...» - </span>
  <span>Lars thought and carefully glanced at Flowey to see if he accidentally offended him with that stupid pun. Apparently not. The flower stood just as still, grinning broadly from petal to petal. Creepy... But Lars smiled back and then rummaged through his backpack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look just like strawberry cotton candy!” Flowey shared his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha... thank you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Lars froze when he heard this question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In 'these parts'. And in this condition. Sorry if I'm prying, but you don't look so good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh... Well, I was here with a friend... on a field trip. And then I, sorta… Fell…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Golly! You did? Right from there?” Flowey looked up, twisting the stem like a ribbon. “It's so high up there, how did you even survive?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lars grimaced, imagining himself falling down and actually smashed his head against the ground, splattering the golden flower field with his own blood. It all seemed so real, the pain in the back of his head became unbearable for a moment...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No. Nonono, it was just a thought! Good thing that hadn't happened. Steven wasn't here, so there was no way to resurrect him again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heh. Guess I'm just lucky.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And where’s your friend now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Good question... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's what I'm about to find out,” Lars explained as he took the phone out of his backpack. Thank God it was still working! Even the screen wasn't damaged! Maybe he is pretty lucky... </span>
  <span>Lars was about to dial Papyrus' number, but hesitated. </span>
  <span>Was it okay calling while this strange flower was here...? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Flowey smiled and looked at him silently, as if waiting for something. </span>
  <span>Truly, there was something about a flower with a face that made it a thousand times more creepy than living skeletons...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well... It was nice meeting you, Lars,” the flower finally said. “I hope you find your friend soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should he really put that weird accent on his name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah... Thanks again for your help,” the pirate forced another smile. After that the flower finally disappeared underground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lars sat listening to the sound of water, thinking of nothing. It all just seemed... strange. The whole conversation, the flower with the smiley face. Lars hadn't felt this bad since he'd met Sans for the first time. And Sans had scared the shit out of him actually! Maybe it was just his imagination, but... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd been thinking too much lately. It was probably just stress...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fortunately, he was soon roused from his troubled thoughts by the phone call. It sounded so loud that Lars shuddered and almost dropped the phone from his hands - and immediately paid for it with a pain that shot through his head from ear to ear. Grinning, Lars looked at the screen, and it immediately made him smile happily. He pressed the green button and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“LARS!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shout came from the phone resumed the beeping in his ears. Lars waved goodbye to his eardrums.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OH MY GOD, FINALLY!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, keep your voice down, please... I think my head just cracked…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry!” Papyrus apologized, lowering his voice. But still here and there broke off into joyful high notes. “I'm just so glad I finally reached you! Where are you? Are you all right? I ran Waterfall all over! And you didn't answer your phone, I, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's okay, Pap, don't worry,” Lars couldn't help but smile. “I’m okay… Well, mostly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, mostly?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't panic, but… I think I broke my leg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was an anxious silence on the other end of the phone. Lars laughed nervously:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-or just twisted it, I don't know! I'm a little off right now, so I might be wrong. Don't worry about it! I'm a tough kid, haha…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you now? Can you describe the place?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The place… Well, there's a lot of waterfalls. A flower field I landed on. Oh, and there's tons of stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Garbage Dump. Hang on, I'll be right there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… Take your time, I'm not going anywhere!" Lars tried to joke. But Papyrus was hardly in the mood for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'll call you later okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay… See ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lars then heard a soft beeping sound and put the phone down, staring longingly at the screen. He felt like a complete idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why couldn't he get through a day without making everyone worry about him?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. This weather app is broken - it's showing rain again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lars really was lucky. He wasn’t completely uninjured, but at least he didn’t break anything - it looked more like a sprain or something. The pain subsided with time, but it was still uncomfortable to step on an injured leg. Although Lars assured he was highly regenerative and would soon be back to normal, Papyrus insisted on sticking around and giving him first aid. Soon his leg was wrapped with bandages, and only after making sure he could walk straight Papyrus finally decided to continue on their way. Even though he still asked several times if Lars was sure he didn't want to go back to Snowdin and rest there until his leg healed.</p><p>“Nah, I'm fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore, really! And you don't have to hold me, by the way.”</p><p>Papyrus shook his head and squeezed his elbow even tighter instead. Lars barely convinced stubborn skeleton to let him carry the backpack, but Papyrus still refused to let him walk on his own.</p><p>“If you step on an injured leg, it might not heal properly.”</p><p>“I'm sure I won't notice it,” the pirate said carelessly.</p><p>“Pretty sure you will notice it! And stop arguing with me already!”</p><p>The dog, going a step further, growled at Lars, apparently agreeing with Papyrus. The pirate rolled his eyes defiantly, but actually stopped arguing with the two of them. Especially since there was neither energy nor time for that anyway…</p><p> </p><p>Turned out that behind the Garbage Dump was the village where Undyne lived. What's more, Papyrus told that she use to come here often with her friend, a Royal Scientist. Whether she was looking for supplies, tracking humans down, or just hanging out in the dumpster, he didn’t go into detail. Good thing the Captain of the Royal Guard wasn’t here while Lars was passed out! Otherwise Papyrus would have found just a handful of bones from him... If he'd been lucky enough.</p><p>Maybe he could've made himself another dog out of these bones! Or perhaps revived Lars as a skeleton? He wasn't sure Papyrus could do that. He didn't ask either. Papyrus would hardly appreciate his dark sense of humor...</p><p> </p><p>Either way, they needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Which they did, after they got confirmation from Sans that Undyne wasn't there. Wasting no time in sightseeing, the trio quickly passed through the village, which was half the size of Snowdin. Also, pretty deserted. Lars thought for a moment that he saw someone around the bend, but they vanished so quickly he wrote it off as a hallucination.</p><p>“It's not very lively here,” the pirate said in a low voice, trying to not disturb the silence surrounding the village. “Guess Undyne has a tight grip on everyone?”</p><p>“Oh no, it's not like that! It has nothing to do with Undyne!” Papyrus shook his head quickly, hurrying to justify his friend. “Monsters in Waterfall have always been like that. They are very understanding of personal space.”</p><p>“Oh, is that so?…”</p><p>“And besides,”  the skeleton continued, “Most monsters here are extremely shy. Once, me and Undyne were so busy training, we spent most of the day practicing. She totally forgot about piano lessons with Shyren in the evening. And poor Shyren stood outside the door of Undyne’s house for hours waiting for us to finish…”</p><p>Papyrus let out a nervous chuckle - clearly he was still embarrassed about it. Was this situation really his fault? Everyone loses track of time sometimes. Also, excessive shyness, unfortunately, is not an uncommon problem... While thinking about that, Lars didn't notice how from a well-lit area they slowly deepened into a dense darkness.</p><p>It was almost palpable... Reach out a hand and it would surely be sucked in like a black hole. Not even the most powerful flashlight could dispel it. Lars was uneasy, wondering how they were going to get through the darkness. He had no recollection of Papyrus taking a lantern with him… But the pirate soon realized that the lantern was unnecessary. As they stepped onto the pitch-black road, Papyrus stopped and began to run his hand along the cave wall. Just a few moments later something glowed beneath his hand, and then the room in front of them began to fill with dim light. The sources of the light - large crystals placed here and there all around the perimeter - filled the areas around them with a ghostly violet glow, twinkling and tinkling, as if from strain. Now Lars could see a narrow path ahead, winding between low bushes and running off into the distance, lost again in the darkness. The crystals were fading fast, so Papyrus gently but firmly dragged the pirate down the path. Yeah, right, no time to slow down...</p><p>They had to repeat the trick of turning on the crystals a couple more times before they made it out of the darkness. After a few minutes the noise of rain began to reach their ears. The rain zone... So they passed Waterfall. Lars had definitely heard Sans say so on the phone - after the rain zone, cross the bridge and go through the cave to Hotland.</p><p>“Wait a moment. I'll get a big umbrella,” Papyrus stopped in front of the basket, laden with a pile of colorful umbrellas. “I don't want your bandages to get wet.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say...”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>The dog galloped happily through the puddles, wagging his tail and catching the raindrops in his mouth. He was clearly having fun. The pirate and the skeleton followed him silently, because there was no point in talking - the sound of rain hitting the umbrella drowned out any conversation. Papyrus guided Lars carefully, making sure he didn't step in puddles, and the guy didn't even try to argue already. After that stupid injury, the skeleton became overly protective of him, and, to be honest, Lars wasn't happy about it. Papyrus guarded him with such zeal, as if believed he could melt in the rain like cotton candy.</p><p>Strawberry cotton candy. That damn flower with his idiotic comparing...</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the thought crossed Lars' mind. The question, actually, had been on his mind all along. Or was it really not that important? Well, if he had to think about it anyway, he'd better ask, otherwise the thought would never go away... Lars turned his gaze to Papyrus and waited until the rain let up.</p><p>“By the way, Papyrus.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I've been thinking. You never said anything about my... my color palette, did you?”</p><p>“Should I have?” The skeleton blinked rapidly, the question really surprised him. “Is skin color that important to humans?”</p><p>“Wha- No, no, that's not what I mean!”</p><p>Lars' cheeks immediately turned red. Why did he have to bring that up in the first place? Now Papyrus will think he’s weird! Well... it's too late now anyway...</p><p>“I mean... Don't you think it's, umm, a bit unnatural color?”</p><p>“I don't know? Is it unnatural?”</p><p>Lars saw the clear confusion in the skeleton's deep black eyes. They stared at each other for a full minute, until Lars finally spoke again, slowly, as if in the middle of an epiphany:</p><p>“You... you've never seen any human... have you?”</p><p>“Oh, no, I've only heard some rough descriptions!” Papyrus confirmed his hunch. “Remember when Sans said humans haven't been in the underground for years? Well, the last human - I mean, the one before you - was here when I was just a babybone. I don't even remember them...”</p><p>The rain poured down again, drowning out Papyrus' last phrase, and they continued on their way in silence. Through the noise of the water, one could only hear the dog barking and snorting as the drops hit his nose. Soon they found themselves in a truly huge underground hall, with blue crystals shimmering on the distant walls. Rainfall obscured the view, but the light was still clearly visible. From this distance crystals looked just like the real stars... Overcome by curiosity, Lars craned his neck to see where the rain was coming from, but it was too dark up there. It looked like the water was pouring in from the depths...</p><p>When the rain subsided again, Papyrus continued:</p><p>“You mean it's unusual for humans to be this brightly colored?”</p><p>“Well... I haven’t seen any. If we are talking about humans," Lars murmured.</p><p>“Then why? Did you fall into a can of permanent paint?”</p><p>“Haha, no! I just...</p><p>You know...</p><p>Actually…”</p><p> </p><p>Lars wasn't prepared for this question. He had started this conversation, yes, but who said he wasn’t speaking before he thought? Now he’d trapped himself once again - how to answer a question when you haven't even prepared the answer?</p><p>Meanwhile, Papyrus stopped, and Lars froze next to him. There were a couple of monsters ahead of them, but fortunately they weren’t interested in them - just quietly walking their way, covered by two red umbrellas. Still, after a quiet "we'd better wait for them to pass," Lars nodded and pretended to be busy looking at the bleak, overcast landscape. The dog, all wet, disheveled and happy, came back to them and stood beside them, hiding from the raindrops under the umbrella.</p><p> </p><p>“Did it have something to do with the scars on your eye and chest?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Lars wasn't prepared for that question, either.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Just a nice walk with a friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rain pounded heavily on the umbrella. Knock, knock, knock, like an awkward djembe playing. Each knock resonated with a muffled thud in Lars’ ribcage. Though outwardly calm, but the storm raged through his soul, stirring his thoughts and shaking his fragile inner world. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, trying to settle down. Why must Papyrus be so goddamn perceptive? Maybe Lars could just lie or make a joke, to correct the situation he’d put himself in… But now… he couldn't even bring himself to say a word.</p><p>There was a long silence. The monsters have already passed, and Papyrus gently pulled Lars along.</p><p>“I died when I got those scars. It was… many years ago.”</p><p>Lars was torn between wanting to look at Papyrus and to avoid doing so. The skeleton was silent in response, but his hand trembled slightly, betraying his surprise. Even Lars himself was surprised at the sound of his own voice and the suddenness of his confession... But, that was right thing. He needed this opportunity to reveal his cards, rather than let this conversation go to waste.</p><p>“I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Afterwards, Steven brought me back to life… I told you about him, remember? Well… turns out he had the ability. So, guess you could say that story ended well…”</p><p>He laughed nervously at that and immediately felt like an idiot. He was shivering uncontrollably. But he continued.</p><p>“Since then, my heartbeat has slowed down. I don't think it makes me immortal tho, but it does add a few extra years to my life. And my skin and hair turned pink... probably as an indication of whose magic is responsible for bringing me back to life?… I mean… I really don't know how to explain it. And I never asked Steven about it either. I just figured it out, and it seemed like that was enough. Like, pink is the color of his family. Sorta? Everything they touch turns pink, like that lion, for example and… Umm…”</p><p>The pirate rubbed the back of his head, feeling more and more feverish. Despite his own decision to spill the truth, it was even physically difficult for him to keep up with the explanation at once. He frowned, trying to figure out the best way to explain this situation, feeling like he was in an exam he wasn't prepared for.</p><p>“It's a pretty complicated story, especially for someone who doesn't know how all this gem magic works. Not that I understand much of it myself, but… Okay, give me a few minutes! I'll try to explain. Do you… do you know what zombies are?”</p><p>“Lars.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>He flinched and turned his face to Papyrus. There was a weary, understanding smile on the skeleton's face that gave Lars a chill for some reason.</p><p>“Thank you. I'm so glad you trusted me with your secret. I also feel relieved that everything turned out well for you in the end. That's the most important thing… But you've already answered my question, so if you don't want to talk about this anymore and go into detail, you don't have to. It's okay.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I mean, I don't have any problem talking about it, if that's what you think…”</p><p>“Lars… Are you really trying to convince me that talking about your own death isn't… sad?”</p><p> </p><p>The pirate stopped, causing Papyrus to do the same. He wanted to ask something. But he couldn't find the right words. He didn't even know what exactly he wanted to talk about so bad… There was just a strange feeling, like something was swirling on the edge of his mind, but the thought was too slippery to catch. Too fragile to be careless…</p><p>“Is something wrong?” Papyrus tilted his head and squinted at the light of crystals, but kept his gaze on the pirate. His hand, which wasn’t on Lars' elbow, pulled the red scarf up to his chin.</p><p>“It's… No, that's all right. I forgot what I was going to say,” Lars replied with a vague concern in his voice and turned away, closing his eyes for a second. “Still… I think I'd like to tell you more about that story later. If you want to, of course…”</p><p>“When you'll be ready to share I'd love to hear it!”</p><p>The sound of encouragement in his voice made Lars feel better. The heaviness finally left his heart. Yet how little he needed sometimes for peace of mind…</p><p>“Heh, I hope that won’t make you fall asleep. The story is actually full of boring details…”</p><p>“It depends… Are you a good storyteller?” Papyrus asked. Lars snorted.</p><p>“Whoa, what makes you say so? Didn't you like the story about the Off Colors?”</p><p>“Of course I liked it! A lot. But it didn't have any boring details!”</p><p>“Well, that's true…” Lars paused, then smiled at the skeleton. "Then I'll do my best! I don’t want you to be bored, after all.”</p><p>Papyrus smiled back. But this time his smile hadn’t such sadness in it like before. Lars couldn’t help but wonder what was hidden behind that weary smile that he saw a few moments ago, but something told him that wasn't the right time. Papyrus might have seemed carefree and simple guy, but the more Lars got to know him, the harder it became to understand what he was thinking…</p><p>But the more he wanted to figure it out.</p><p>“Hey, Pap… Thank you for listening. It really means a lot to me.”</p><p>“No need to thank me,” Papyrus replied cheerfully and pulled him further along the empty rain zone. The dog, who had been waiting for them, was already impatiently stomping around the corner. “That's what friends are for, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>After passing the rain zone, Papyrus shook out the umbrella and placed it in a basket that stood around the corner. Now they faced a big rock ledge that would have caused Lars a lot of trouble with his leg... But Papyrus assured he’ll help him get over this obstacle with ease. And if you can't trust Papyrus, who can you trust, right?</p><p>Trying not to step on an injured leg, Lars picked up the dog from the ground and handed it to the skeleton, who had already climbed on the ledge, as if it was a children's slide.</p><p>“Remind me again why we brought him along?” the pirate asked, wiping his hands, wet from fur, on his pants. The dog shook himself dry when he was on top of the ledge and immediately started wagging his tail.</p><p>“Why? So you won't escape, of course!” Papyrus chuckled in reply.</p><p>“But I wasn't going to, remember? I came with you willingly!”</p><p>“Yeah, after you lost the battle,” the skeleton reminded. “But it was the best decision you ever made, isn't it?”</p><p>“Umm, I dunno. I'm still not sure about that…” Lars turned away defiantly, but Papyrus noticed a sly smile spread over his face. Really? He's just like Sans, fooling around at such a difficult time for them!</p><p>But then again… They weren't in a hurry, right?</p><p>“As a matter of fact, I might try to escape right now. By the time you and your "unique tracking system" get down, who knows how far I'll be…”</p><p>“Oh, so you really think you can escape from The Great Papyrus? How naive of you!” The skeleton said pompously, placing one hand on his hip and made a graceful gesture with the other. Lars shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Pap, no offense, but the title of "The Great Papyrus" doesn't sound effective in such plain clothes…”</p><p>“Silence! Don't you dare argue with me, Human! The losers must obey the winners! So… give me your hands, please. You're stalling.”</p><p>“Heh, okay, big guy. Guess I have no choice?”</p><p>The pirate took off his backpack and tossed it up before reaching for Papyrus’ hand. The skeleton pulled him up in no time, gently holding him behind his back. That was easy, just like he promised. But even when Lars was finally on top of the ledge, Papyrus wouldn't let go of his hand. Seemed like he still had something to say. Lars tilted his head and raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“What’s wrong, dude?” he asked. Papyrus smiled nervously.</p><p>“I know I said that… You know, that you have no choice? But… I want to apologize for that. I wasn't sincere. The truth is, there is always a choice! You can find a way out of any situation! Even when it seems the whole world is collapsing around you. It just isn't that obvious sometimes, so you have to try harder. So… never limit yourself, okay? Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck in place. That doesn't get you anywhere…”</p><p>“You mean… I really should've tried to escape?” The pirate smiled broadly. And immediately squeezed his eyes shut as Papyrus flicked him on his forehead.</p><p>“Hey! I'm talking about important things here!” The skeleton exclaimed angrily, while Lars laughed, covering his head with his hands. Just in case.</p><p>“Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I was just trying to lighten the mood! You were so serious…”</p><p>“Well that's where you're wrong - I'm always serious! And anyway… Don't push me, or I'll put you back in the cage!” Papyrus threatened, trying his best to look annoyed. He then quickly lifted the backpack from the ground and threw it over his shoulder. Apparently, no more time arguing about that, huh…</p><p>“Congratulations, Human, we officially passed Waterfall! Now we need to go through a cave over there and we're in Hotland! But you probably would like to rest here for a while…”</p><p>“Yeah? Why is that?”</p><p>Papyrus turned to him with an apologetic smile and said:</p><p>“You might find the welcome in that area… too warm.”</p><p>“You mean…?”</p><p>Monsters in Hotland like to cuddle?</p><p>“It's very hot there, Lars. And when I say "very," I mean… VERY. Many of us can hardly stand that heat.”</p><p>The pirate raised his eyes to the ceiling. He'd hoped to the very end that the name of the area didn't reflect its essence… Naive.</p><p>“Aw man, I hate heat! Where was that ice cream guy? He should’ve opened his shop in Hotland.”</p><p>Really, what was that hare guy thinking? Selling ice cream in Snowdin, seriously? Who eats ice cream in this cold? Well, except for skeletons.</p><p>“Well, anyway. Let's walk for-” was all Papyrus got to say, before Sans appeared right in front of him from nowhere. His face so agitated that Lars' heart froze. The small skeleton said nothing, just grabbed them both by hands and dragged them into the tall grass that grew nearby. Lars could barely make out the gesture urging them to be silent.</p><p>He held his breath. The rough, dry grass tickled his nose and ears, apparently left several thin, stinging cuts on his skin. Seconds later, cheerful voices came from outside the cave, and Sans repeated his gesture just in case: whatever happened - keep silence.</p><p>Then, two monsters came out of the cave. A tall athletic girl with blue skin and bright red hair gathered into a tight ponytail, walked a little ahead, laughing and hurrying along the other one, a short yellow lizard in a white medical gown. Thankfully, they were too busy talking to each other to even look in the direction, where skeletons and the pirate were hiding, so Lars breathed a sigh of relief… But, in the middle of chatter, he heard the name that lizard girl addressed to her friend.</p><p> </p><p>Undyne.</p><p> </p><p>Lars felt the pulse begin to hammer in his head. So, this is Undyne. The Captain of the Royal Guard… But before he could get a proper look at her, the girls passed by and quickly disappeared in the direction he and Papyrus had just come from.</p><p>The dog peeked out of the grass. When he was sure the danger had passed, he crawled out of the shelter, barked softly. The others followed.</p><p>“Golly, Sans… That was very timely,” Papyrus exhaled. He was afraid to speak even at half his usual voice volume.</p><p>“Could be sooner, but Undyne walks too fast,” his brother said.</p><p>“Anyway, thank you…”</p><p>“Don't mention it, bro. Let’s go before they decide to come back for something.”</p><p>“Yes, yes, of course. We'd better hurry... Lars?”</p><p>The pirate nodded and took a step forward. But then he was forced to lean against the cave wall, the pain made him hiss through gritted teeth. He'd probably forgot about the injury while hiding, stepping on his leg at full force… Well, that's just great!</p><p>Sans and Papyrus rushed over to him.</p><p>“Whoa, hey kid! Are you all right? What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing… I just had a bad fall,” Lars was pale, but he tried to smile. “It's all right, don't mind me! I still can walk…”</p><p>“Here, I'll help you,” Papyrus threw the pirate’s arm around his shoulder to make it easier for him to support his weight. Lars didn't resist. He was no longer sure it wasn't a fracture. In any case, it wasn’t the time to play the hero! They had just a few minutes left to get out of here, before…</p><p> </p><p>“I'll go get it, Alphys, don’t worry! I'll be back before you can… blink…”</p><p> </p><p>The pirate, skeletons and the dog, stood frozen as they heard the voice coming fast from the cave.</p><p>Undyne stopped in front of them, completely stunned.</p><p> </p>
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